How many times have we been told we have to work with the hand that life deals us? It often times seems we can’t create our own realities and control what we are exposed to and how we are impacted by life because so many things happen around us we simply can’t control.
One of the best discoveries and alternaviews is that we actually are able to create our own realities. We may not be able to perfectly plan and control every single aspect of our lives (and honestly, that would not really be desirable anyway), but we are able to control a lot more than we think. The challenge comes in understanding this and then taking control of those things that are well within our reach. The greatest thing about all of this is once we begin to control those variables we can and should control, what we are exposed to continually changes…and ultimately our reality improves and reflects what we want it to.
Some things we can for sure control: (this list is by no means exhaustive)
Reality #1: We get to choose how things impact us
Although it sometimes feels the only option is to allow our emotions to control us, we are actually able to choose how we react to things in our lives. We can choose to really experience a sunset or we can just decide it is an everyday thing and allow it to come and go. We can get annoyed with the driver that cuts us off, irritated with the co-worker that always makes the wrong decision, angry with the person who treated us badly… or we can stay calm, understand the presence of these negative emotions and allow them to rise to the surface until they just naturally pass through our system (believe it or not, if you acknowledge the presence of these negative emotions, but disallow yourself to get entangled in their drama, in time they will just evaporate). We can get upset when things happen that we classify as bad, or we can accept and manage through the waves of life. When it is all said and done, we get to choose how things impact us, we just have to be disciplined enough with our thinking to control our reactions and emotions.
Reality #2: We get to choose how we experience life.
How we interact with our friends and family. How we appreciate the little things. How we have fun, how we work, how we play. We get to choose if we will reserve that personal time for ourselves (if you are one of those people that think there is not enough time in the day, take another look…there is always some extra time somewhere, you just have to take a closer look and find it…for me it meant waking up a little earlier, which was not ideal at first, but each day gets easier). We get to choose if we will reserve time to go on vacation or do other things that allow us to get away from our normal routine. We get to choose if we will laugh at those things we find funny, smile at people we meet, and devote some time to those things that just make us happy.
Reality #3: We get to choose the things we put into our minds.
We get to choose what books we read, what types of television shows we watch and the news we read. We are able to choose our own music, art, and the vast majority of things we are exposed to. What we decide to focus on impacts our everyday life and experience. Sometimes we underestimate the true impact of what we consume and just focus on those things that are right in front of us. However, we can choose what is in front of us and what we decide to focus on impacts our everyday life. Check out these sites if you haven’t found them already (Zen Habits, Good News Network, illuminated mind).
So, the question is…what do we do with that power and control we have over our own reality. If we just focus on ensuring we are consistently and positively impacting our own perceptions, feelings and what we are exposing ourselves to, we really will be able to impact our own realities. The challenge is not in being able to actually control these things, but rather in understanding, and repeatedly choosing to do so…this is the alternaview.
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