Many of us are familiar with that adage old phrase “It is what it is” that reminds us of the importance of accepting things for what they are and not resenting their presence in our lives. For all of us who have experienced challenging times, this acceptance of situations may have helped us not to get frustrated or discouraged and played an instrumental role in helping us overcome our challenges.
The alternaview:
Although in many instances, acceptance of situations and circumstances are important, the alternaview is that there are times when we should not accept that “it is what it is”. One instance that comes to mind is with personality development. People are so quick to explain away some of their personality flaws as genetic or ingrained and convince themselves and others there is nothing that can be done to change them…it is what it is. They will tell you I am bossy because it is in my genes…I have been lackadaisical my whole life and can’t change it now…I just always get depressed when things go wrong…I have to be this way or otherwise people will walk all over me.
Despite how long you have been a certain way, or believed something to be true, we all have the ability to improve those aspects of our personality we know are not ideal. We all have been given everything we need to develop and strengthen personality traits that will help us become the type of person we desire. We just have to truly desire to change and choose to do everything we can until we are successful.
When you genuinely want to integrate this alternaview into your life:
1. Evaluate your personality honestly. Objectively look at your personality and analyze your strengths and weaknesses. Take note of your opportunity development areas (a nice way of saying your personality flaws). Ask people who are close to you what they think about you.
2. Imagine you have the ability to design your personality the way you see fit. If you could just pick and choose what characteristics you wanted, what would you choose? Would you choose to be kind to others all the time, intellectual, caring, hardworking, open minded? Make your list and choose what would be ideal.
3. Decide you will do everything you can to integrate these new characteristics into your personality. Be determined and decide you will continue to work at developing along the lines you desire until you are successful.
4. Understand you actually do have the ability to change who you are and how you view situations. You can fundamentally change your personality. You can become more assertive, friendly, social, happy, intelligent, hardworking…or anything else you desire.
5. Start working on changing what you want immediately. Read books or blogs about the characteristics you want to develop. Focus your attention on the personality traits you desire and determine how you can begin strengthening their presence in your life.
If there are things about your personality that you know could and should be better, stop making excuses and just change them. Understand that people actually can and do change…all it takes is a genuine desire and effort…this is the alternaview.
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