Why be nice? This is a question we may ask ourselves when someone has really pushed us just a little too far and tested the limits of our tolerance. Perhaps the same issue continues to arise because someone repeatedly ignores your concerns or they just continually refuse to listen, despite the fact you have nicely told them something already. It can be frustrating and oftentimes people will justify their need for harsher actions because being nice is just not working. Why be nice when you feel that people are taking advantage of your kindness? Why be nice when people are being rude to you? Why be nice when you feel that being nice hasn’t really gotten you anywhere?
The alternaview
The alternaview is that despite the situation or what has happened, there is always a compelling reason to be nice because it actually ends up working out best for you. We all have been told the benefits of turning the other cheek and why we should treat others as you want to be treated.
Being nice is by no means a new concept for the vast majority of people, nonetheless, it can be somewhat easy to dismiss logic when people accidentally hit a nerve (or perhaps even intentionally stomp on it). However, it will always work to our advantage if we are able to step back, calm down and diffuse the situation.
Why? The boomerang effect is literally always in action and no matter how justified you think you may be to respond to someone’s less than desirable actions, you should prioritize your own feelings and peace of mind. What you put out there is exactly what you get back in some form or another. It may appear as residual anger or frustration, or just being in a bad mood, but it will surface eventually.
You never are really happy and at peace when you are mean or less than nice to someone. If you think that is not the case and you feel better when you are able to vent your frustration or express your anger at someone, you are really just tricking yourself. I know for some people that may be hard to believe, but it really is true.
That is why we have to make a concerted effort to always respond to situations and people in a way that will allow us to calmly and unemotionally express our perspective and actually work toward a resolution. It is not that we aren’t honest with people or that we sweep issues under the rug, but rather that we work to address problems in the best manner possible.
It really is amazing how much better off you will be by treating people nicely. Not just people that have upset you, but everyone you come into contact with throughout the day. Your coworkers, your family, (yes, your mother-n-law counts too), telemarketers, the taxi driver, the waitress…anyone and everyone that you speak to during the day.
Things just are better and life is easier when you are nice to everyone, when you say please and thank you, when you are considerate and genuinely care about the response to, “I am good. How are you?” People will actually want to do things for you and go that extra mile to help you out because they like you. Things just fall into place when people like you.
When we genuinely want to integrate this alternaview into our life:
1. Consider every situation a test. Look at each challenge and your ability to respond appropriately in every situation as a test. Every time you successfully don’t react with anger or frustration when someone upsets you, understand that you have passed one of the tests for the day. You are either passing the test or you are failing it. By being aware and viewing everything as a test, you will have to consciously choose to fail and often times when things are top of mind and we are focusing on them, we are more apt to behave the way we should.
2. Decide to be nice at the beginning of the day. Determine from the very beginning of the day that you are going to be nice to everyone you come into contact with. Decide that you are going to pass every test that is put in front of you. Keep your mind on being nice througout the entire day.
3. Try it for just one day. It can be daunting to think you are going to have to live everyday focusing on being nice. Just genuinely try to be nice to everyone for just one day. Take notice of how much better you feel at the end of the day. You will really enjoy that feeling at the end of the day if you have been successful and that will motivate you to continue to do all you can to integrate this alternaview into your life.
4. Do it for yourself. Let’s be honest, it is sometimes easier to be motivated to make a change when you something will personally benefit you. When it comes to being nice, you definitely have something to personally benefit from and as you successfully continue to be nice, it will become more and more evident. Also, there really is something to be said about focusing on being nice and having those good thoughts that come along with that as the predominant thoughts in your mind. You really will just feel better.
Our days are filled with choices and we are able to decide a lot of things that will ultimately impact our lives. Know that being nice is one of those important choices that really will end up working to your advantage regardless of what the situation may be…this is the alternaview.
Do you agree with this alternaview? Is it something you have incorporated into your life?
Related Posts:
Doing all we can to Live Life Impeccably
The Importance of Finding Middle Ground
Extending our OPEN philosophy to all Interactions
Sign up for the Living Better Bonus Kit
Sign up for FREE and receive all the new articles and FREE Instant Access to the Bonus Kit updated regularly with tools to really help you live TODAY in an Amazing way.
Sign up for FREE and receive a FREE copy of "Stop Complaining & Start Living" along with all the new articles and instant access to the Bonus Kit.