How to get rid of those character traits that are just not working for you

We know that people are multidimensional and there are both good and bad things about everyone. While we do have many great character attributes that have served us well, there may also be habits or character traits that we would prefer not to have.  These traits haven’t really done anything beneficial for us and in some instances have even gotten us into trouble…always having to be right, speaking before thinking, completing people’s sentences before they can express their thought completely, being impatient, being overbearing…the list goes on and on.

It can seem natural to accept all of our idiosyncrasies because we have had them for so long and are accustomed to them.  We may have decided they are harmless and so we might as well accept them for what they are. Perhaps we have even convinced ourselves that sometimes they work to our advantage.

The alternaview
Stop fooling yourself.  The alternaview is that instead of accepting these idiosyncrasies, we should make a concerted effort to change them.  We should focus and work on ironing out these kinks in our personality and doing whatever we can to get rid of them. It is not that we don’t accept ourselves for who we are, but rather that we aim to correct those things that are just not really helping us out or working to our advantage.

Why?

Because by working on getting rid of some of our idiosyncrasies we are developing and improving who we are.  We are benefiting and learning from the experiences and interactions we have had and allowing them to positively impact our personality. We are becoming the person we should be and setting ourselves up so that everything falls into place the way it was meant to.

How to use this alternaview:

1. Honestly Assess Your Personality. Spend some time thinking about those traits that you want to improve and change.  What could you do a little differently?  What behaviors could you either adopt or eliminate that would better work to your advantage?  Do you do anything that is annoying?  What are the good personality traits that you have that you want to play up?  Be honest with yourself and figure out what you need to work on.

2. Ask those close to you for an Assessment of your personality (just in case you didn’t honestly and successfully complete step #1). Your friends, co-workers and anyone else you spend a lot of time with you can give you their perspective.  They are the ones you interact with and so it can be helpful to understand how they see you.  If you hear the same assessment from several people, then 9 times out of 10 it is accurate (even if you don’t think so).

3. Decide that today is the day. No more excuses or overlooking certain idiosyncrasies.  You decide that today is the day you are going to start working on doing things differently.  You are going to commit to behaving differently.

4.  Focus on what you are trying to change consistently. Put your new or changed behavior to practice consistently throughout the day.  You have to make a concerted effort to focus continually on doing things differently because it is easy to slip back into the way you have been accustomed to handling situations.  Decide what you are going to do or how you are going to behave in the morning and stay focused on this goal throughout the day.

5. Acknowledge your progress. Give yourself credit every time you successfully behave or act in the way you set out to.  It’s not easy to change behaviors and you should acknowledge every small step in the right direction.

6.  Stay motivated. It may take a while.  There may be days that you are more successful than others…that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up.  It takes time to develop new habits and you have to remain committed, but understand that the change may not happen overnight.

One of best things we can do is to learn and move in the right direction as we go through life.  The more we learn the better.  When we focus on improving our personality and change into the type of person we were meant to be, we set ourselves up to be successful…this is the alternaview.