The path to a great day: stringing together high quality moments

80% of people are focusing on the wrong thing 90% of the time.  They are mostly consumed with the many details of their lives, work, errands, to do lists, activities and anything and everything else going on around them.

The alternaview
The alternaview is that if you have fallen into the trap and your thoughts are primarily focused on the hustle and bustle of your daily routine, then you are missing out on what really matters and having the type of day everyone really wants.  If you want to break free and really start living, then you are going to need to focus on stringing together as many high quality moments as possible.

What is a “high quality moment”?

A high quality moment is when you are able to feel totally content and completely satisfied to be exactly where you are and doing exactly what you are doing.  You thoroughly enjoy and appreciate the current moment and you are 100% engaged and experiencing it at its fullest.  You have devoted all of your mental energy and focus to what you are doing and there is nothing distracting you or diverting your attention away from what you currently are doing.

You are not thinking about all the many things you have to do and you are also not thinking of anything that has occurred in the past that irritated or upset you.  You are not worried about tomorrow or the next day, or your neighbors, or your co-workers.  You aren’t concerned with anything that has already happened.  You are totally living and experiencing the moment.

A high quality moment doesn’t require you to be doing anything special.  In order to have a high quality moment, it is not a prerequisite that you are doing something fun, exciting, or even unique.  You can simply be taking a walk, driving to work, relaxing on the couch, and even grocery shopping.  It is not what you are doing that matters, but rather how you are experiencing the moment. The question to ask is whether this moment has captured all of your undivided attention?

These are the types of moments we should be focusing on creating over and over again because believe it or not, they allow us to recharge. In many ways, they serve as mental time outs because we allow ourselves to disengage from what can often times feel like the chaos of everyday life and turn our attention to just a single activity or thing.  It is amazing how much better we can feel when we successfully experience a high quality moment, but it does require shutting off the many things that normally run through your mind during the course of the day.

What really does devoting a 100% of your attention require you to do?

It literally means that you are so focused on what is immediately in front of you that you just don’t have the ability to focus on anything else.  You are so engaged and devoted to exactly what you are doing that your thoughts about other things or worries, or concerns have shut off for the time being.  You are absorbed in this moment and have absolutely no room for anything else. Take the example of driving to work…Your attention is focused on how your foot feels on the pedal and the movement it makes when it shifts to the break.  You are noticing perhaps the temperature and texture of the steering wheel and just sitting and driving.

Have you ever done this while you were driving somewhere?  Try this or try experiencing any other moment in that same manner and you will notice the difference.  If this is one of the first times you have tried to have a high quality moment, it can take some adjusting to.  You will see your mind consistently try to wander and wander back to something else.  As you continue to practice, you will get better and better at it and then the key will be to string as many of these high quality moments together as possible.  So, if you have never tried this before, try it today.  If you have done it before, but didn’t see the value…try it again.  You have absolutely nothing to lose (except about 10,000 thoughts that are cluttering your mind).

How to use this alternaview:
1.  Practice, practice, practice. Having a high quality moment doesn’t usually just happen the first time you try it.  It can sometime take some practice to really be able to turn your attention to what is going on in front of you instead of the zillions of things running through your mind.  Be committed to practicing and know that once you successfully do it, you will be able to do it again and again.  You just have to work at it.

2.  No cheating. It can be easy to fool yourself that you are having a high quality moment when in actuality you are really not 100% focused on what you are currently doing.  It may require that you are a bit of a mental narrator and explaining every action you are currently doing.  For example, right now I could be telling myself, “I am pressing the keys” and noticing how each one of the keys feels.

3.  Don’t worry about what other people think. The best thing about high quality moments is that no one has to have any idea what you are doing.  If you are feeling that it’s a little different, then that is okay because no one is going to have any idea what you are focusing on and when you are having high quality moments.  It is not like your facial expression changes or people are going to look at you differently. People will have no clue what is going on inside of your head (just like they have no clue about the many things you have said to yourself about them).

4.  Start with something easy. Now, while it is very possible to have high quality moments doing just about anything, there are things that seem to be a little easier.  Taking a walk, playing golf, and exercising are some things that come to mind.  You can literally sink into what you are doing pretty easily and have a high quality moment.

5.  Realize the value. If I am being honest, it is hard to really describe the benefits that are associated with high quality moments, but you have to trust they exist.  After you experience several high quality moments, the benefits will be obvious, but until that happens you need to believe in their value so that you have the motivation to continue pursuing them.

What I have come to understand is that one of the best things we can do for ourselves is figure out what works for us.  What is it that we need to do that will allow us to have a great day?  How do we need to approach things in order to have those moments that will be the most beneficial?  What do we need to do differently than we have been in order to improve our experience?  I am sure there are many different answers and approaches, but living a day filled with high quality moments is definitely one answer…this is the alternaview.