How to Get Rid of the #1 thing that may be holding you back from success

When things don’t go as planned or fall into place the way we desire, oftentimes people will only look at what went wrong and where they fell short.  They will reach the conclusion they need to work a little harder and do things differently, both of which may be very true.

However, one aspect that often goes overlooked and possibly uncorrected is our story and how we are defining ourselves and deciding what we are really capable of accomplishing.

What’s your story?  How do you describe yourself? Whether we realize it or not, each of us has a story that we believe about ourselves that describes who we are, what we do, and what we feel we are capable of accomplishing.

As an example:  I am a mother in my mid 30s that works at an advertising agency.  I have set goals I am working to accomplish in both my personal and professional life.  I believe that I am capable of setting goals and working intelligently toward accomplishing them.  I also believe you have to put everything you have into living better and growing.

Our story that we believe impacts who we are, everything we do and everything we accomplish.  Because we believe and buy into it, it determines a lot of things about our behaviors and decisions and what we accomplish in our lives.

The alternaview:
The alternaview is that if we really want to set ourselves up to succeed and remove any obstacles or things that may be holding us back, we should make certain that our story is positive, motivational and perfectly lines up with everything we want to accomplish.  To the extent that it is not, we should change it, because if our story does not inspire and convince us that we can accomplish our goals, it really doesn’t matter how hard we work.  We will never be able to accomplish our goals without a good story we genuinely believe in.

I know several people with stories they have created that are actually working against them.  These people haven’t told me their personal stories, but you can see excerpts of their stories playing out in their actions, comments and behaviors.  I know someone who believes that he works extremely hard, but is continually underappreciated at work.  I would imagine that his story goes something like this:

“I am a great father and an intelligent professional that works really hard and gives everything I have to my job.  I create a lot of opportunities and success for my company, even though I am undervalued.  In order to realize all the success I should have, I continually need to go above and beyond the call of duty.”

Now, on the surface, that story may not appear to be as detrimental as it actually is.  I mean, his story takes into consideration his strengths and recognizes what he will need to do in order to have continual success.  However, this story is also a setup to always feel that someone or something is working against you and undervaluing you.  It has a very high likelihood of holding you back because it plays into fears that may or may not be accurate.  A better story would go like this:

“I am a great father and an intelligent professional that enjoys working really hard and giving everything I can to my job.  I really enjoy and am personally driven to create a lot of opportunities and success for my company.  I will continue to set goals and go above and beyond the call of duty because I am inspired to accomplish all that I can.”

Just tweaking the story and crafting it in a fashion that is inspirational and aligns with where you want to go can set you up for success.  And, since we are the author, publisher, and leading character of our story, we get to choose what it says.  Consequently, we should be aware of the story that is running through our minds and make sure it is working for us.  We should have a winning story.

Why?

Because this story serves as our personal truth and shapes how we feel about everything in our lives.  It also defines what we think is possible and what we are capable of.  If our story is limiting or uninspiring, it puts restraints on our ability to accomplish what we desire regardless of how hard we work at it.  Our story can hold us back and in many ways be a huge anchor in our lives.

How to use this alternaview:

1. Determine your story. Take some time and think through what your story is.  What do you really believe about yourself, your life and your abilities?  What story are you telling yourself?  Be honest.

2. Analyze your story. Make certain your story is positive and motivational.  If it is not, tweak your story so that it is and then continually remind yourself of your new story.  Reprogram yourself if necessary.

3. Examine your goals. What are you trying to accomplish?  Where are you trying to go?  What do you need to do in order to get there?

4. Compare your story and your goals. Do they line up?  Does your story inspire and allow you to accomplish your goals?  If not, something needs to change.  Your story and your goals need to work hand in hand.

Our story plays an important role in every aspect of our lives and we need to make certain that we haven’t created a story based on negative experiences and or perceptions that is holding us back.  The story and the things we tell ourselves are extremely convincing.  As a result, we have to make certain they are motivational and can serve as a solid foundation that will set us up for success.  Our story is reflected in everything we do and determines what we are capable of accomplishing…make sure you have a winning one…that is the alternaview.

Do you have a good story? Is it working for you?  Do you agree with this alternaview?