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How to Not Ever Give Up on Something You Really Want

Feb
24
2010

by Sibyl · 8 comments

We can easily get frustrated when we are trying to do something and things don’t play out the way we desire.  Perhaps things are taking too long or maybe we have run into challenge after challenge.  Whatever the case may be, things are just not working out and we really can’t figure out why.  We have devoted so much time and so much energy toward something, but nothing seems to be working well and we are trying to figure out what we should do next.

Perhaps it is time to just give up?…We gave everything we had, and maybe it is just not meant to be…

Not so fast.  Let’s take another look.

Achieve your Goals: The alternaview

The alternaview is that before we decide to give up, we should ask ourselves two questions:

1) Is this something aligned with your interests and desires that you genuinely feel you were meant to do?

2) Are you honestly pursuing this goal for all of the right reasons?

And, if the answer to both questions is yes, and you really want to continue to pursue what you originally sought out to do…then you need to make only one commitment.

You need to commit and be willing to work for however long it takes to reach your goal.

Committing to an indefinite time period to make your goal happen really sets you up for success because you have reached a point where you realize you are on a mission and there is no turning back. It doesn’t matter how much time or what it is you have to do, you have decided you will not stop until you successfully reach your goal.

And, once you have firmly made this commitment you will have the realization that it is not a matter of “if” you will achieve your goal, but really only a matter of “when”. This is an inspiring mindset to have that will really allow you to continually move forward because your determination and willingness to work for however long it takes, will counteract any frustration that could surface because things are taking too long.

What really works against us when we are trying to accomplish anything, is frustration that things aren’t coming together and a lack of confidence that we will successfully accomplish our goal. By developing a mindset where we are committed for however long it takes, really give us the power to eliminate both.  There is no reason to get frustrated because we know eventually things will fall into place.  And, we have confidence because we have committed to work and work until we achieve our goal.  The only choice we have is to successfully reach our goal.

The key is that you have to really open your mind and genuinely be willing to work for however long it takes to reach your goal. Is it possible that it will take forever to achieve your goal?  Anything is possible, but it is just not probable.  We are normally able to accomplish goals in reasonable time frames, but what is essential is that we have shaped our thoughts in such a way that will allow us to be confident and have the right mindset.  Committing to working for however long it takes is just the type of mindset you need.  This is one of your deepest desires and something you feel you were meant to do.  Who cares how long it takes?…that is the alternaview.

What do you think of this alternaview? Do you agree?

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Armen Shirvanian February 24, 2010 at 11:13 am

Hi Sibyl.

That last point you talked about there speaks to the patience we need to have. We sometimes want to fly through some process in a certain period of time, but they usually require much more time than we expect at first, because we don’t know all the extra things we need to do. Lack of this patience leads to early quitting, which leads to loss of the result.

Lack of confidence will throw us off. If I lack it, I won’t even put words out the to the public.
.-= Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..Others Won’t Create The Perfect Circumstances For You =-.

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Sibyl February 25, 2010 at 10:50 pm

Armen: You are so right that lack of confidence will throw us off every time and lack of patience leads to early quitting. I think we really have to focus on finding a way to overcome both if they are surfacing in our thoughts from time to time. If we are genuinely interested in accomplishing our desires, we need to develop strategies and approaches for eliminating anything that may be holding us back. As always, thanks for the comment. It is great to have you commenting here. Congrats also on your 200 post and hitting more milestones.

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Catrien Ross February 26, 2010 at 2:59 am

Sibyl, thank you for another encouraging post, and especially for the two questions you present. I feel they are really important, yet when we are frustrated or discouraged we usually forget to ask ourselves just what you suggest. If we can truly answer yes, then no matter how much of a setback we perceive, we can inspire ourselves to reconnect with our deepest motivation. Sometimes success stories are presented as “instant” or “overnight” success, and a culture of immediate gratification adds to this illusion. But real so-called success is built out of many, many setbacks – failures, even. And we never reach the point of realizing our goals if we give up along the way due to impatience or lack of confidence in the long-term effort. Knowing that we really do want what we believe we want keeps us going through all the rough stretches. is A very helpful post, Sibyl – thanks from the rainy mountains in Japan – Catrien Ross.
.-= Catrien Ross´s last blog ..Catrien Ross on How Negative Self-Judgment Creates A Lifetime of Guilt and Limitation =-.

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Sibyl February 26, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Catrien: Good to hear from you and I am glad you found the questions helpful. I think it really is about finding that process or approach that will get you through those long stretches you described. If we can find a way to persevere and continue to do all we need to do, we are really setting ourselves up for the success we desire. Hope that you have a very good weekend in Japan. Sibyl

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Jay Willingham - CampusByte February 26, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Sibyl,
This is an issue I deal with everyday. I’m really good at planing for the short term but when it comes to long term goals I get side tracked an often give up. Your post helped bring things into perspective.
Thanks,
Jay
.-= Jay Willingham – CampusByte´s last blog ..30 Questions to Answer Before Choosing a College =-.

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Sibyl February 26, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Jay: Welcome to the alternaview and thanks for the comment. I think staying on track with long term goals is an issue that many of us deal with daily. If we can just find that approach or those things that work for us, we can integrate them into our routines and hopefully get better and better at continually doing what we know we need to do. It is something that we have to practice and continually focus on, but as time goes on, we can really get better and better at it. Thanks again for the comment and I hope you have a great weekend. Sibyl

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julie Mann March 2, 2010 at 10:19 am

Very useful article, simple and straightforward.
Clients usually come to me having given up on a ‘dream’ at some point in their life. I think it is enormously important to realise our dreams and that can sometimes take courage as well as commitment. By asking those 2 questions and getting really clear about our priorities it can ‘take the pressure off’.
Thanks
Julie Mann Habitfixer
.-= julie Mann´s last blog ..We just love to be right ….. =-.

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Sibyl March 2, 2010 at 10:33 pm

Julie: Thanks for the comment and welcome to the alternaview. I totally agree with you that we need to be committed to realizing our dreams and that sometimes takes courage and commitment. If we can somehow find a way to stay committed and inspired to keep working at what we want to do, we can have assurance that eventually our dream will become a reality. Thanks again for the comment and sharing your thoughts. It is great to have you commenting here. Sibyl

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