How to Improve all of Your Interactions by Bringing Out the Best in Other People

How much better is it to deal with people when they are in a good mood?  How much easier is it to find common ground when the other person is cooperating and interested in working with you? How much better is it to work with people when they are at their best and at the top of their game?  How much better is it to hang out with people that are happy and pleasant to be around?

Interactions become easier, working with someone improves, hanging out with people becomes a much better experience, and things just really fall into place when other people are being helpful, kind, pleasant and cooperative. It is never a good experience to interact with someone who is in a bad mood, angry or just trying to be difficult.

Consequently, the question is can we get people to behave in a great way when we are interacting with them?  Can we lift the mood of someone, inspire them to engage in a better way, and bring out their best side?

It seems to be a logical assumption that we don’t determine other people’s moods nor do we determine if they are performing well and on their “A” game.  The only person we can control is ourselves and we have to take others as they come .  How they act is only within their control.

However, as there usually is…there is another way we can look at this…an important alternaview to take note of.

Improving Relationships and Bringing out the Best in Others: The alternaview

The alternaview is that although we can’t control people and how they act, we can most certainly influence their behaviors, moods, and actions. We actually can help bring the best out of people and as a result improve all of our interactions with them.  We can help people get to that place where they are in a good mood and performing well.

Although it is by no means our responsibility and we can’t determine exactly how people will choose to behave or what they do, we can choose to do things that will tap into that part of them that is positively energized, engaged, and pleasant to work with.

And, by doing this not only are we obviously helping others, but we are also helping ourselves because it is just a better experience and more productive to interact with someone when they are at their best.

The key is understanding how to consistently tap into someone’s best side because people are multidimensional.  Everyone has many different aspects to their personality. They have great personality traits (happy, engaged, kind, pleasant, fun, caring, etc.) but certain situations may also trigger other types of traits (moody, angry, upset, annoying, frustrating, boring, etc.).

Now obviously there are people that are just in better moods and happier more of the time, but everyone is multidimensional and that means in the majority of instances we can tap into their better side.  There are obviously exceptions because sometimes people will just choose to be difficult, but even in those instances, if we are focused on bringing out their best side, even those interactions will be much better.

How to use this alternaview:

1. Realize that everyone really is multidimensional. Sometimes we have preconceived notions about other people based on our prior experiences with them or things we have heard about them from other people.  However, everyone really does have a good side and in order to bring it out, we have to really understand that is the case.  We have to expect the best out of people and know that they have it within them to behave in a great way.

2. Talk about topics they like. You can really start an interaction off right by starting with a topic you know the other person enjoys.  Begin with a discussion about their kids, their favorite team or anything else that would be interesting to them.  The key is though that you have to be sincerely interested and genuine.  It is amazing though how this improves the overall interaction, even if eventually you are going to have to address something they are not going to like.

3. Bring good energy. Your mood matters and will directly influence how the other person will respond.  Always make certain you are bringing positive energy to the interaction.  If you are in a bad mood, then get in a better one before you interact with someone else.

4. Laugh. If they say something funny, laugh.  If you have an opportunity to say something that will make them laugh, say it.  Laughter will always lighten everyone’s moods and improve interactions.

5. Listen. Listen to what the other person is saying.  Don’t monopolize the conversation, don’t tune out when they are speaking…really listen, comprehend and care about what the other person is saying.

6. Entertain them. If you have a good story to tell or something else they would appreciate, tell them. Entertaining someone will always lift their mood.

7. Write things down. If you need people to contribute ideas or you are trying to get someone to engage and participate, take notes on what they are saying.  This will show the person you really care about what they are saying and it encourages them to participate even more and make certain they are saying valuable things that are worth you writing them down.

8. Compliment them. People like knowing that you respect them and appreciate things they have done.  You obviously need to be genuine and sincere because otherwise it will seem that you are just trying to manipulate them.  However, if there is something that they do well or anything else positive that you have really noticed about them, let them know.

9. Rub people the right way. Have you ever seen those people that just continually rub people the wrong way?  They are always saying or doing something that gets under people’s skin.  Do just the opposite.  Don’t say things that you know are just argumentative or inappropriate.  Really focus on having pleasant interactions with other people.

Don’t make things harder than they have to be because you are dealing with the difficult side of people.  Choose to engage and interact with their best side.  Make all of your interactions easier by really working to get the best out of people…that is the alternaview.

Do you get the best out of people?  Do you agree with this alternaview?