How to Change a "Bad" Day into a Great One

How much better of a day do you have when everything just goes smoothly?  When you literally have a day that is conflict free and things seems to go your way.  A day where there are no run-ins, no arguments, no issues and everything falls into place just like you desire. These are the easy days…the great days.

And then you have those bad days…or the hard days.  These are the days that are more difficult to manage through because an issue arises.  Something doesn’t go as planned, someone upsets you, or a problem surfaces.  There are a multitude of things that can happen that can disturb your peace of mind or upset you.

Many people have an expectation and a desire that they will have more easy days than hard ones.  It is what they aim and hope for every morning.  No one starts the day off saying, “I hope this is a day filled with challenges and everything goes wrong.” People want everything to go smoothly all of the time, and their definition of smoothly is without any conflict, issues or challenges.

However, there is another way we should look at this…

Better Days: The alternaview

Despite the fact that issues and challenges may arise throughout the day, it is still possible to manage through and have a good day. It is inevitable that on some days something is going to happen you may not like.  Someone is going to behave or say something inappropriate, or an issue is going to arise that either directly or indirectly affects you.  This is just how life happens…

If it is not one thing, it is two.

But, that’s okay.  We should be aware and understand that everything is not going to go smoothly 100% of the time.  What matters is how we are processing and handling the issues and disturbances that arise.  Are we able to find a way to move on after our initial reaction?  Can we manage issues in such a way that they have very little impact on the type of day we are having?

Of course.

However, in order to do so, we need to make certain we are dealing and processing issues in the best way possible.  We must always be able to return to a good frame of mind regardless of what is happening around us.  There is always a way back to our center. Yes, we are going to sometimes be disturbed and have emotional reactions to things, but we need to make certain we can let things go and return to a positive mindset in a reasonable amount of time.  This is one of the most important skills that we can have.

Why?

Because when we have this skill, we can actually change the way we experience our days.  When we can positively control our frame of mind, we are no longer vulnerable when challenges and issues arise. Our mind is no longer cluttered with negativity and this allows us to experience life in a great way.  We have taken control of how we process everything that happens and have figured out how to untangle ourselves from our negative emotions and reactions.

It certainly is much easier said than done…but, it is definitely possible.  This is a skill that we can develop and get better and better at doing as time continues.

How to use this alternaview:

Understand the 3 Phases of the Evaporation Process: Negative emotions and reactions to situations are like boiling water…(1) they start off hot (2) they boil and then (3) they simply evaporate.  You can expedite the evaporation process by realizing that negative emotions and reactions will pass as long as you don’t get stuck at phase 2 in the process.

Here are some practical tips for managing through the different phases:

Phase 1: The Disturbance or Issue Arises

• Remain as calm as possible. This is not the time to get worked up or let your emotions take over.  No matter how challenging it may be, respond to the situation in the best manner possible.
• Look at the situation as a test. Your ability to respond to the situation positively is being tested.  Decide you are going to pass this test and that you will handle the situation calmly and appropriately.

Phase 2: The Boiling Effect

*WATCH OUT.  This is usually the phase people get stuck in.  How you choose to manage through this phase will either lengthen or shorten it.  You should be able to significantly shorten this phase as you get better and better at managing your thoughts and negative reactions.  It is definitely a case where practice makes perfect.

• Survey your current mindset. Always be aware of how you are currently feeling and reacting to a situation.  From time to time, ask yourself, “Do I have a great frame of mind right now?” If you are not in the right frame of mind, you need to work on changing that.
• Don’t add fuel to the fire: Venting about or running what occurred through your head like a bad re-run, simply doesn’t help.  Choose instead to focus your thoughts on other things and catch yourself every time you revert back to thinking about what upset you.
• Outlast the boiling effect. If you can manage to maintain the right frame of mind long enough, you will outlast the boiling effect.  The boiling effect can only last for so long which makes it easier to make it through because you know for sure there is an end in sight.
• Choose to move on. Realize it is your responsibility to clear your mind and move on.  This means you have to have a genuine desire to let things go and move on.  You are able to control your frame of mind, but you have to see the value in letting things go and then choose to move on.
• Reach for the highest and best emotion. Usually you are able to untangle yourself from what is happening one step at a time.  So, you should continually reach for the highest and best emotion that is currently available to you.  As time passes, you should be reaching for better and better emotions.
• Focus on the benefits for You. Understand that you will feel 100% better if you can just let things go.

Phase 3: Evaporation

• Observe as the negative thoughts and emotions are passing through your system; See the negativity diminishing
• Appreciate the process when it is complete.  The negative thoughts and emotions are no longer there.  They have evaporated.

Conclusion

Don’t allow the ups and downs of your day to takeover.  Don’t assume that just because things don’t go as planned, it automatically means your day is ruined.  Choose to process everything in a way that allows you to take back control over the type of day you are having…that is the alternaview.

Do you agree with this alternaview?  Do you have any tips to add for getting through the different phases?  Please share them in the comments section.