How to Move Through Your Day Friction Free

If you look around and notice the interactions between people throughout the course of a day, it is very likely you may notice some friction.  There are people that come into contact with one another and for one reason or another an exchange filled with tension, irritation or frustration arises.

There is the annoyed and impatient driver that honks his horn uncontrollably at the car in front of him.  The passenger that has an angry exchange with the attendant at the ticket counter because of a canceled flight.  No matter which way you turn, you can see people playing real world bumper cars as they move throughout their day.

If you have ever found yourself in a situation with an angry person on the other side, you know that you usually have 2 choices: (1) engage in the negative exchange and contribute to the situation escalating or (2) respond calmly and diffuse the situation.

Some people feel that if they don’t engage in the debate and aggressively defend their position, they will get run over and be taken advantage of.  They feel that backing down is just not an option and really just a sign of weakness on their part.

But, is that really the way we should look at things?

The alternaview

One of the most important things we should aim to do is move through our days friction free. Our goal should be to have the least amount of drama and the most amount of peace in our lives and that means we can’t get into pointless debates or have negative exchanges with the people we come into contact with.

And, sometimes that really is a lot easier said than done … especially if people around us are being irrational or really aggressive.  We could really be a calm and kind person the majority of the time, but run into someone that really pushes our buttons and before we know it, any sense of calmness we had is lost.

However, we should never allow anyone to get under our skin and push us to the point where we are behaving in a combative or disagreeable way. Although we can’t control the decisions that other people make and how they choose to act, we can control how we choose to respond.

Chances are that at one point or another we are going to run into someone that is going to do their very best to push our buttons.  However, if we  have decided that we will never allow anyone to get us worked up, situations will not be able to overtake our sense of calmness. It is not that people will not do things to us that are unfair or inappropriate, but rather that we will remain relaxed and controlled regardless of what is going on around us. That is really how you live friction free.

How to use this alteranview:

1. Aim to be a Softener. Regardless of what people send your way, refuse to respond in a harsh or aggressive way.  Your goal should be to soften all negative interactions. Does this mean you are a push over? No, this means you are smart and you refuse to prioritize anyone’s drama over your peace of mind.

2. Let Go of Being Right. There is no need to continually think about all the reasons why you are right and the other person is wrong. Yes, it may indeed be the case that you are right, but reminding yourself of all those reasons over and over again will do nothing for you.  Just let it go and focus on your ability to be right again … by responding calmly.

3. Notice Other People’s Issues. Take a look at the people around you that are having negative exchanges and observe how they negatively contribute or create confrontational situations.  After you have made your observations, it is time to look at yourself.  Sometimes we are a little more confrontational than we realize and it is always easier to see the issues with other people’s behavior than it is to see our own.  You can use their challenging behaviors as a “don’t do” manual and survey yourself to make certain you don’t ever exhibit any of the same challenging behavior patterns in any way.

4. Stay committed. This is definitely a situation where practice makes perfect.  You will get better and better at softening negative exchanges.  It will not automatically happen overnight, but if you are dedicated and work to consistently do it, you will notice that all of your exchanges with other people are becoming friction free.

5. Realize the “Why”. We want all of our exchanges to be friction free because it literally is better not only for our peace of mind, but also for being able to live in a great way. We open ourselves up to the best experiences life has to offer.  Anything that interferes with your piece of mind, no matter how petty it may seem, holds you back (Check out what this great post and all the reasons not to lose your temper by Ayo and this great post by Frank).  Don’t allow anyone or any situation to be a speed bump or an obstacle to what you really want.

6. Count to 10. When someone does something inappropriate, instead of immediately responding take a little breather.  Count to 10 or take as much time as you need to get yourself to a place where you can calmly respond.  You can really control how you respond and giving yourself time to relax always helps.

Conclusion

It is amazing how much living in a friction free way can improve all of your interactions and experiences.  You never have to be concerned with people being rude or behaving inappropriately.  You are not vulnerable to the issues and challenging behavior traits that other people exhibit.  You get to live friction free and in a great way because you have made the choice to do so … that is the alternaview.

Do you agree with this alternaview?  Do you live a friction free life? Please share your comments below.