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10 Great Ways To Calm Down When Someone or Something Has Annoyed You

Do you have a great way to calm down when someone has pushed your buttons? What is your tolerance level?

How do you handle it when people mislead you or do something that you feel takes advantage of your kindness and honesty?

I am a pretty patient and tolerant person. I always try to give every single person the benefit of the doubt and see everyone in the best light possible.

But let’s be honest, there just may be those times when you run into someone who has their own personal issues they need to sort through and they do things that can really be upsetting or push your buttons.

You know the best thing you can do is find a way to calm down and return to your great frame of mind.

You can run into people that are dishonest, deceitful or just plain rude. And, it can be really irritating and a true test of your patience and tolerance, even if you are a very calm and collected person.

You may be someone that is consistently doing everything possible to stay centered and have a peaceful frame of mind. You meditate regularly, do yoga, jog or some other relaxation practice consistently. You have great relationships and really enjoy spending time with other people. For the most part, you always have the best mindset and get along well with everyone you come into contact with.

But, then you encounter someone who is unscrupulous, inappropriate or inconsiderate and it is necessary to find a way to calm down. Do you fall into the trap? Do you allow them to get you all worked up?

Do you let them interfere with your positive mindset?

Well, the honest answer may sometimes be yes. And, that is okay. It happens. We are human and may not be completely immune to the egos and issues that may come our way from other people.

Many of us admittedly are still strengthening our tolerance and patience skills.

However, the key is that we have to stay committed to having a great frame of mind as often as we can and that means we find a way to calm down and regain our positive mindset anytime we notice a disturbance.

We don’t beat ourselves up for being upset or bothered. We simply recognize when our peace of mind has been disturbed and focus all of our attention and effort on returning to our great frame of mind.

We can’t control how other people behave, but we can control how we react and if we allow what other people do to affect us in a negative way.

Here are 10 things you can do as soon as you recognize someone has interfered with your positive mindset. Always remember that your #1 goal is to do whatever works for you to regain your peace of mind. Any negative feelings or emotions that surface will pass like a wave, as long as you allow them to move through your system and commit to restoring your peace of mind.

1. Take 10 Deep breaths … (maybe 20 or 30 depending on what has happened and how worked up you are)

2. Give yourself credit and think about how great it is of you to take the high road. Realize you are strengthening a good trait in yourself. (As hard as it may be to believe, sometimes our best patience and tolerance trainers are those people that really do push our buttons.)

3. Take a walk and focus on something that makes you happy.

4. Call a friend and talk about something that makes you smile or laugh. Whatever you do, do not complain or talk about what has upset you (remember the idea is to get you back into the right frame of mind, not all worked up again).

5. Meditate, do yoga, read, take a jog or do some sort of exercise. Do anything that helps to take your mind off of the disturbance and relax your mind.

6. Realize that whoever upset you is not your issue and you don’t have to bother yourself with teaching them anything. No revenge or teaching them a lesson is necessary. The universe has its own way of teaching people the lessons they need.

7. Remind yourself that you are doing it for yourself. You will be the one that benefits the most from clearing your mind. Prioritize your peace of mind over everything. Realize that your peace of mind is the most important thing and refuse to allow anyone to negatively encumber it for too long.

8. Go have some fun and laugh.

9. Listen to your favorite song, sing, dance and get your positive energy flowing again.

10. Think about the things in your life that you love and appreciate. It is amazing how true gratitude and appreciation will overshadow any negative feelings you may have.

Live Today Better than Yesterday.

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  1. 2

    Hey Sybil, that’s one good post everyone needs. The best way to calm down is to focus on something good, or just focus somewhere else. that’s how we get better, by no focusing on junkyards.

    • 3

      Jaky: Thanks for the comment and dropping by. I think we all should have an approach and ways we know we can calm ourselves down and find our peace of mind. The reality is that there may be things that come up from time to time and the better prepared we are to manage through them, the better we are able to manage through life. Thanks again for the comment. Much appreciated.

  2. 4

    Hi Sibyl,
    This is a great post! We all have encounters with people who don’t seem to have boundries or verbal filters. I love what you had to say about taking the high road. It is so true! Even though it may be hard to even find, when we are on it, we feel so much better about ourselves. I think it makes maturity grow. Thanks Sibyl!

    • 5

      Dandy: Thanks for the comment and dropping by. I do agree with you that we do feel so much better about ourselves when we do take the higher road. There is nothing better than being able to keep a great peace of mind. Thanks again for the comment and stopping by.

  3. 6

    Hi Sibyl. This is a really good article and one that I can definitely use. I would like to add, if I may, to your list of things to do to release that negative energy from other people. I write in my journal or write a poem, so that I can get it out of system and, hopefully, not push that energy on other people that I come into contact with during the day. It is a constant learning curve for me though, and your alternaviews have definitely helped me. Thanks for sharing!

    • 7

      Shannon: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. I think the journal idea is a great one. I love what you said about not pushing the energy on other people. Thank you also for the kind words about the alternaviews and that they have helped you. It means so much to me to hear that and I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and stopping by. Thanks again and have a great weekend.

  4. 8


    Bullet #1 looks impractical to me.I wud never do that.8 and 9 looks rational.

    • 9

      Hey Survo: Always good to hear from you. Thanks for the comment. I agree with you that it is all about finding what works for you. If breathing is not your thing, then it probably will not get you to where you need to be in terms of mindset. I can understand your point that it may not work for you. I am glad though that having fun, singing and dancing do. I think those are great ways to restore your peace of mind :) Thanks so much for the comment and stopping by.

  5. 10

    Hey Sybil!

    These are very practical tips and great advice. I have to say that it’s a lot easier to read and understand them, than it is to apply them. I’ve had to learn to make it a spiritual thing, and depending on the situation, I’ll pray for the person. It’s almost like having compassion or seeking to understand them, instead of getting angry diffuses the negative feelings.

    When that doesn’t work, I go somewhere privately to scream off the top of my lungs and that usually does the trick. πŸ˜‰

    • 11

      Marlee: Thanks for the comment. You are so right … easier said than done :) I know it definitely takes practice and sometimes people can really give you an advanced course in patience and try to hit all of your buttons :) I like the idea of focusing on the other person in a positive way. I think that is a great suggestion. I am all for anything that maintains your peace of mind. Thanks so much for the comment and stopping by. Always appreciated.

  6. 12

    As for me, when someone annoyed me I want to stay alone and to think a bit about all this situation. It very often helps.

    Thanks Sibyl, for these great tips!

    • 13

      Roman: Thanks for the comment and for stopping by. I can see how processing the situation and what happened can help. It is kind of like allowing things to just move through your system and after you have allowed that to happen it frees you to return to your great frame of mind. Great point. Thanks for sharing it and stopping by.

  7. 14

    Hi Sibyl,
    Great tips. Whenever we react negatively to others we are reacting from our old case history. When reacting to anything that agitates and annoys me I consider that I have temporarily misplaced my sanity – now it’s easier to break the chain of time that binds me to WOE IS ME.

    • 15

      Rob: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. I totally agree with you that it is so easy to fall into the trap and act in ways we have been conditioned to. It really is all about breaking the cycle and choosing how you want to respond. Great point. Thanks for sharing it and thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend.

  8. 16

    Yep, I agree. “Take the high road”. There’s definitely less traffic. :-) Thanks for sharing!

    • 17

      Jen: Hilarious … I love that statement. In fact, I may have to use that one again. No worries … I will attribute it to you :) It is definitely true that there is less traffic when you take the high road. Good one. Have a great weekend.

  9. 18

    Thank you for another great article. I have a hard time maintaining clarity and serenity at work because there is so much negative energy here. Your suggestions will definitely help. I also use essential oil blends to help me during the day which enhance the methods you mentioned above.

    Take care and have a wonderful day!

    • 19

      Tehya: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. Negative environments can definitely add an additional layer of challenge to the situation and really test your ability to be patient and maintain your peace of mind. I know when I am in challenging situations, I just try to really focus on dialing up my awareness and peace of mind all that more. It really can help sometime. I think the oils and anything that enhances your mood is a great strategy. It is all about finding what works for you and then continually going to it so you can always maintain the best peace of mind possible. Thanks for the comment and stopping by. Much appreciated.

  10. 20

    Hi Sibyl,

    These are some great tips, especially the first one – stop and breathe, which helps us to not go into an automatic reaction.

    Returning to a place of peace is great, but sometimes the best learning comes from going through the reaction to unwind it. What exactly happened? What was said or done that triggered you? What is your experience of being triggered?

    Challenging situations are opportunities. If we take the time to understand our reactions, including how we may have contributed to the situation, we return to a place of peace. But it is deeper and freer because we have released a piece of a pattern that may have been stuck.

    • 21

      Gail: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. You know I always love the wisdom you share here and appreciate it so much :) I think what you said is so true and Rob mentioned it as well. You do have to be aware of habitual patterns and making certain that you are not continually repeating the same behavior over and over again that is interfering with your peace of mind. I agree with you that often times that means you have to dig a little and get under what has caused the occurrence. I think that is a very important addition to this post. Thanks for adding it and stopping by. Always great to have you commenting here. Have a great weekend.

  11. 22

    @ Sibly- Being Angry is pointless. But in all honesty, I get angry sometimes. Hey, were human but i never let my angry consume me. Once we change how we reacted to a situation, we win. Why? Because we control emotions.

    • 23

      Jonathan: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. I think what you said is key … we are human and may get angry sometime, but we can’t let it consume us. It really is all about controlling your peace of mind and although you may get worked up, you never allow it to take over. Thanks for the comment and stopping by.

  12. 24

    Great steps here Sibyl. Like everyone else here, I’ve had my struggles with this subject.

    These days, when someone greatly offends or hurts me, I try to instead of focusing on what they did wrong, I look more at myself, and think back to those moments in my life where I’ve made other mistakes and ended up hurting others….and quickly I realize that in order to be forgiven , we must learn to forgive.

    It comes down to the reality that we’re all imperfect. We’re all flawed. And we all have our bad moments. We need to accept that about others and learn to simply let go.



    • 25

      Marcus: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. I think you are so right that another thing we can do is find our way to forgiveness. It is so easy to get caught up in the negativity of the moment and focus on all the reasons we are upset with the person. If we can just find our way to forgiveness, we can really accelerate finding our peace of mind. Really important point. Thanks for adding it.

  13. 26

    I think we have a responsibility to ourselves and the universe to do what you say Sibyl, bring calm when uncomfortable feelings or thoughts rise up in a rage. Balance is so important in our lives. I find if I sit quietly with the feeling and just feel it painful tho it is sooner or later I’m aware of my first love of stillness, ‘oh good, great to see you again.’ All’s right with my world again.

    • 27

      Christopher: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. It really is all about bringing calm and restoring our peace of mind as much as possible, just as you mentioned. I agree with you that you can be with the feeling and just in a way wait it out and let it pass through your system. That is another great technique and definitely allows you to reclaim your great peace of mind. Thanks for the comment and stopping by.

  14. 28

    “Oh! ye’ll take the high road and
    I’ll take the low road,
    And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye;
    But me and my true love
    Will never meet again
    On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.”

    I’ll let you all in on a secret…my middle name is Angus!

    2. Give yourself credit and think about how great it is of you to take the high road. Realize you are strengthening a good trait in yourself. (As hard as it may be to believe, sometimes our best patience and tolerance trainers are those people that really do push our buttons.)

    A dream that I had last week told me that the person that “pushed my buttons” was in truth a wise, kind, and very wonderful person.

    It may seem “perplexing” but I do believe I am now a much better person…some of the right buttons must have been pushed.

    Om Shanti to you…

    • 29

      …my Bonnie Lass o’ Fyvie

    • 30

      Thanks Rand. It really is all about taking the high road, even if the lower road is doing anything and everything it can to catch your attention. Jen actually gave a good quote … we should definitely take the higher road and there is definitely less traffic there.

      • 31

        Thanks Sibyl and Jen!

        It’s really not hard for a Scot like me to take this advice…and I have been wanting to take a long hike up in our mountains lately…so I am going to put the old kilt on soon for a good old march on some elevated trails…lets pray that it is not a windy day!

  15. 32

    If I ever want to calm down, I just ‘zone out’, take a deep breath, and shut down my stressed/angry voice for a couple of seconds. Just taking that time to get out of the anger spiral can work wonders in giving you calm and enabling you to refocus your energies on more important matters, like helping others.

    Great read Sibyl :-)

    • 33

      Stuart: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. It really is all about removing yourself from the cycle of negativity and zoning out is definitely a good approach. Perhaps when you are zoning out, you are also zoning in to your great peace of mind and that place that just calms your mind down :) Thanks for the comment and stopping by. Have a great weekend.

  16. 34


    When people make me upset I have had a lot of success using some very simple techniques. 1. I scream at them at as loud as I can. 2. I attack their personal character. 3. I physically attack them. After all of that I usually feel great but I understand that is not the mature way to handle a situation. (just kidding)

    On a serious note like Marlee I am a big believer in “trying” to remove myself from the situation and pray for wisdom to handle the situation appropriately. The faster I can get away from the aggravating stimuli the better. Venting appropriately also helps.

    Your post has some very practical and easy to follow tips. Thanks.

    • 35

      Frank: I think you get the exact point of this point and your 3 examples are exactly what I was talking about :) LOL. You always make me laugh. Thanks for the comment and I think the strategy of removing yourself from the situation is a good one. Anything that you can do to keep the best mindset and keep your peace of mind is a good way to go. Thanks again for the comment. Much appreciated.

  17. 36


    This is a very helpful and useful post. Most people I know engage thier anger and actually make it worse. They look look for others that are simpatico and fuel the rage rather than extinguish it. I believe it is common to see the person that angers you as the problem. This is true of our society; anger is considered power. Damand your way or claim you are affronted or offended victum of an oppressor. I like #8 go have fun laugh it is still the best medicine………………


    • 37

      Scott: Thanks for the comment and stopping by. I am so glad that you found the post helpful and useful. What you said is so true, because there are things we can do that just incite the situation and make us more and more upset. The key really is to do things that help you take control of the situation and make good decisions about how to respond. Thanks again for the comment. Much appreciated.

  18. 38

    I have a question about the 4th one.. What if it’s your friend that’s annoying you, TERRIBLY?? I have a friend who’s like a sister to me, but I think she has annoyed me to the point of no return… Someone help?

    • 39

      Hey Jasmine: Thanks for stopping by. If it is a friend that is causing you the issue, I would recommend focusing your attention on finding your own center and peace of mind first and then having a discussion with your friend. It is always better to discuss issues with your friends when you have your own peace of mind. Hope that helps;)

  19. 40

    Very useful information! Two things I would like to comment. First of all – surveys have shown that deep breathing is probably one of the most efficient and easiest things an angry person can do to calm down. So it really is worth to try.
    And secondly I would like to say that talking about it later is a good thing to do. This way it is possible to prevent negative situations in the future.
    Best Regards
    Samantha Mat

    • 41

      Hey Samantha: Thanks for dropping by and sharing those tips. I think they are both really helpful and can see how integrating them into the process could really help. I appreciate you sharing them here. Much appreciated.

  20. 42
    Carole Heath says:

    This is agood article regarding annoying people and how to keep calm when you meet them. My annoying problem is my sister-in-law who brings up babies and children evertime we meet her. We haven’t got any and we don’t want to keep hearing about it all with comments like they will be a family now when someone is expecting etc or he is a real little dad when she sees someone with a baby. I have dropped hints we don’t like it but she still keeps on. So i have stopped seeing her i only get in her company when it is necessary and if she starts at all i get up and go to the toilet or make some excuse to leave early. I know she gets the vibes from me so why does she still do it. I think she is tackless and does not engage her brain before she opens her mouth. I don’t miss her at all to be quite honest not being nasty but i can do without people like her.

    • 43
      gobluechavis says:

      Hi Carole – Thanks for the comment and for sharing your story. I know it can be challenging when people seem to just not be thoughtful about what they say and do. I have really always used it as an opportunity to strengthen my own patience and tolerance since. I know it can be tough when people really continue to speak before they can think, but I have found you can really get better and better at it and it allows you to keep your own peace of mind:) Thanks Carole again for the comment.

      • 44
        Carole heath says:

        Thanks for your comment gobluechavis I will take your advice on board. I have recently had another dilemma similar to my sister-in-law scenario. But I handled it differently very tongue in cheek and turned the tables on the person who made the remark. They soon backed down and I was as pleased as punch.

  21. 45

    wow thxs this really works I followed all of thease steps and it worked really well maybe you school make some more
    loven natasha im out

  22. 46

    thxs it works

  23. 47

    thanks you for calming my nerves my class mates are really annoying but this site helps me calm me even thought im in the eighth grade thanks guys