I am done second guessing myself (and you should be too if you want to accomplish everything you are really capable of and have ever wanted).
No more wondering if I can really accomplish what I am trying to do. No more allowing my confidence to be shaken. No more being concerned by the opinions of skeptics or people who just don’t really understand (I appreciate their concern, but I can’t let their fears work against me). No more over analyzing and questioning decisions I have made.
Don’t get me wrong, I get it that you can overlook some really important things if you don’t think about all the possible scenarios. I understand it sometimes pays to be risk averse and not rash. It makes perfect sense to me that you have to really think things through and be open to changing your mind when things don’t feel right.
However, that is not really ever the situation … is it?
Those are not the issues I have and I doubt you have those issues either.
Let’s be real, when it comes to the big life decisions, we don’t make them on a whim. We don’t just wake up one day and decide to blindly pursue whatever ideas pop into our mind. We always think through things and weigh our options. We don’t really have a history of making rash and irrational decisions.
That is not what we do and it isn’t the reason why we sometimes fall short of accomplishing what we want. What really works against us and holds us back is when we second guess of ourselves.
When we make a decision to follow our gut instinct and all the signs, but then allow a lack of confidence and doubts to creep up. We start second guessing ourselves, our decisions and whether or not we are doing the right thing. We allow a shadow of doubt to be cast over our true potential and what we know deep down we really are capable of.
And, that does nothing good for us at all. That is what is really working against us and causing the most damage.
I get it that the bad habit of second guessing yourself has developed over a lifetime and is hard to break. I get it that other people can really shake your confidence and cause you to call everything into question. I get it that it is natural to have fears.
But, if we are ever going to realize our real potential and accomplish all we are capable of, we have to make the decision to rid ourselves of the bad habit of second guessing ourselves and commit to chipping away at any and all fears.
We have to reprogram ourselves and no longer feed the limiting beliefs and the doubts that are holding us back.
As with so many other things in life, this bad habit is meant to be overcome. We are supposed to get rid of our doubts and have our character strengthened as we transcend any fears. Ahhhh, the beauty of living and learning.
Why let another day go by and allow this bad habit to go unchecked? I won’t and you shouldn’t either.
So, how exactly do you do get rid of the bad habit of second guessing yourself and eliminating all the doubts that come along with it? By seeing and choosing to do things differently.
What To Start Doing Differently Today (if you aren’t already):
Every time you start second guessing yourself –
1. Remind yourself that you thoroughly thought things through and have made the best decision. Have confidence in your decision and remember that you didn’t make this decision lightly.
2. Remember how you got here and think about all the signs that pointed you in this direction. Remind yourself that there is a reason why you were guided in this direction. There is a reason why you made the decision you did and you are meant to follow this path. Don’t take that lightly.
3. Refocus on your goals and all the great things you will accomplish. Think about how great you are going to feel as you make progress day after day. Visualize and see yourself being successful.
4. Think about all you have already accomplished and give yourself credit for every little step you have taken. Think about where you were a year ago and realize how far you have come. You know so much more now, you have had realizations, and you have taken steps in the right direction.
Live Today Better than Yesterday.
Hi Sibyl,
Having self doubts has its uses as it helps us to be more prudent and cautious. But taken to extremes, self doubts will only cripple our ability to act in a decisive manner. I love the steps you have laid out to deal with the issue of doubts. I especially like how you point out that we need to remind ourselves that we have thoroughly thought things through and made the best decision.
To deal with doubts, we have to take action. We have to plan, prepare and do all we can to deal with the source of our problems. But once that is done, it is pointless to continue second guessing ourselves. At this stage, it would be helpful to meditate to enable us to focus on the present moment so that we can adapt to circumstances as needed.
Thank you for sharing this lovely article!
Irving the Vizier
This is great advice. I very often find myself second guessing myself, and always looking back at the dumb mistakes I made.. but no more.
Cool Henway. So glad to hear that you are on board. The sky is the limit
Sibyl,
Your article is packed with great ideas for us on how to accomplish our goals. I especially like that you remind us to visualize our goals as already accomplished! Getting rid or our negative beliefs is huge too! If we can do just those two we are on our way to making our dreams a reality!
Excellent advice. Thank you.
Hey Angela: Thanks for the comment. So glad that you liked the article. It really is all about getting rid of those negative beliefs … one step at a time. Or, all at once if you can make that happen
I know. We never realized how much our negative beliefs hold us back because for the most part we are “unconscious” about them. I’ve been studying EFT for the last 5 years and that has really helped me take the negative charge out of those beliefs.
Hi Sibyl!
Last call to second quess…Last call?
When it comes to making the decision to not go in the direction of something that does not feel right we can find ourselves second guessing this in the same manner as the positive direction decision.
‘Oh maybe it was just an oversite’… or… ‘I did not really look at the events clearly…it should be ok.’… or… ‘I should trust his/her judgement’.
Your #2 really applies great to both the positive and negative second guessing…yes the “signs”.
This post is actually very timely for me! Like a stamp of confirmation on a recent decision I made…so thank you very much !
I always look forward to your post and appreciate all the thought you put into them…so really…thanks!
Speaking of + and – you should check out Tess’s latest post Sibyl…or maybe not??
Hey Rand … nothing better than getting a stamp on a recent decision:) I am glad that you liked the post and that it was timely. Last call is right.
I’m certainly connecting with what you’re saying here. It’s like jumping into cold water. The hardest part is the jump.
Dave: I think that is such a great quote. I am going to start using that one. You are so right .. the hardest part really is the jump. Thanks so much for the comment.
Following up on the last comment about jumping in cold water–When I was growing up we would go to a nearby river for boating and swimming on the weekends. There was a waterfall with a rope off to the side you could use to climb to the top and then jump into the water. Once I climbed to the top, I was terrified to jump. It seemed so far down to the water. The only thing scarier was the idea of trying to climb back down on the slippery rocks. So I jumped. It was so much fun! I climbed right back up, got scared all over again, and jumped again!
Galen: That’s a great story and such a great pointer in the right direction. It is all about getting over that initial fear and once we do, everything unfolds in the most amazing ways and we realize that the best thing we did was just go for it and get over our fear. Thanks so much for the comment. Always appreciated.
Hi Sibyl
I’ve not visited for a long time but I’ve just seen your comment on “Big Fish Top Dogs” and it prompted me to pay you a visit.
Site is really looking good and that short video at the top is brilliant.
“We have to reprogram ourselves and no longer feed the limiting beliefs and the doubts that are holding us back.”
It’s not just me then? LOL
Thanks for your four point counter to the negative thinking and thanks for that super last line…
“Live Today Better than Yesterday.”
Keith: Welcome back … Please never leave again
LOL. Thanks so much for the comment and I am so glad that you liked the post. You are definitely not the only one working through doubts and limiting beliefs. I am so glad that you like the new tagline. I am actually getting ready for an entire new rebranding so I appreciate the feedback. Thanks again for the comment and glad you stopped back by.
quite an inspiring start for day Sibyl (just woke up and its morning here in egypt)
thank you for this post and plz keep in touch
Hey Farouk: Good morning. So glad that you liked the post. Hope all is well and I will definitely stay in touch.
Hi Sibyl,
Thanks for the encouraging words. For me the actions that makes the most difference for re-programming the self limiting way that I often think, is to re-focus on my goals, visualise my dream and tell myself that I can do it.
Hey David: Thanks for the comment. I think those 3 techniques you mentioned are good ones. It really is all about having an approach and not allowing fear or doubts to go unchecked. Thanks for the comment.
Hi Sibyl,
You are so right second guess can really slow us down. I read Mary kay Ashes book one time and one thing that her mother always told her is, “You can do this.” After reading this that is what I tell myself and what I have always told my children. When you believe anything can be accomplished. Yes, I have had my detours, but then I find a better road to travel.
thank you for reinforcing the “You can do this.”
Blessing,
Debbie
Debbie: I like that … “You can do this” is a great mantra to live by. What you said is so true. If we can just get it in our minds that we really can do whatever it is we focus on, the sky really is the limit. Thanks for the comment and thanks for stopping by.
Sibyl,
This was it. I needed this today. I really needed this. I can tell you countless stories of dreams that have been destroyed because I didn’t have enough faith in myself to get things accomplished. If I could truly practice the art of never second guessing myself I feel that the world around me would change. Recently at my job I took on the attitude that if the opportunity exists I will jump on it. Now with that mind set no matter what I feel in the situation I am in I force myself to jump on the possibility and I now lead my team in production. I still am a work in progress but this is just a short story to prove what you said works. Never second guess your abilities you just might surprise yourself. Great job!
Hey Frank: Thanks for the real world story. You know I always love those. I think it is great that you have committed to doing things differently and working to stop second guess yourself. That really is what it is all about and we always grow the most when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone. Congrats on that and thanks for the comment and stopping by.
When I first read the title to your post the first thing that came to mind was “Quit Doing This One Thing, And You Will Always Succeed” quit getting married. HA HA. Ok that was just a joke, but seriously, not second guessing yourself frees you of so much agony and worry.
Once we learn to live with the choices we’ve made, even if those choices aren’t always the greatest, we can accept our decision making process. We learn from our mistakes, we don’t beat ourselves up for bad decisions and we move on.
Todd: I totally agree. You can’t beat yourself up over decisions. You have to recognize that you did what was right for you at the time and you will either learn something valuable from it or it will move you forward. Whatever the case may be, you should never second guess yourself. Thanks for the comment and marriage isn’t that bad is it ?
Have a great one.
Sibyl,
Second guessing has hurt me, as it has been said, our first guess/thought is usually the correct hunch, only if we all listened to our gut or 6th senses. I am guilty of this myself and working on correcting it! Lovely message! Thanks.
Preeti
Hey Preeti: I think we are all guilty of it
Isn’t it crazy how we can just let things shake our confidence? Glad to hear that you have identified it and are changing it. That really is what it is all about. Thanks for the comment and thanks for stopping by again.
Hi Sybil,
Thanks for this great post! I definitely needed to read this today. I’ve been fighting second guessing a recent decision and your inspiration has helped me to recognize what I was doing and STOP it.
Janise: I always love comments like yours and they mean so much to me. Thanks for letting me know and I am so glad that the post helped you confirm the direction you wanted to move in. Thanks for the comment.
If only I can read you post sooner.I have stressed for along time but I don’t know how to escape from it.Thanks so much
So glad that you liked the post and found it useful. Thanks for stopping by.
Thank you so much for this insight and encouragement. going through a transition and having some difficulty but as they say….
the teacher will appear when the student is ready
Hey Robin: So glad that you stopped by and I know going through a transition can always be a difficult time. The best thing though is that there is always light on the other side. Just keep moving in the right direction and let me know if there is anyway I can help:)