“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” -Mary Engelbreit
I adopted a new philosophy that had an amazingly positive impact on my mindset and I thought I would pass it along.
I no longer do anything that I dislike doing. Yep, that’s right. Not one single thing. If I don’t like it, I don’t do it. It’s just that easy.
This idea came to me one day as I was sitting in a meeting that I had absolutely zero desire to be sitting in. I was in the meeting thinking about all the other places I would rather be and then it finally dawned on me … I really don’t have to be here. So, I made some calls, apologized and politely removed myself from that obligation.
Do you do things you just don’t enjoy? It’s an easy trap to fall into.
Here’s how the typical scenario usually plays out when you do things you dislike:
- You know the time is coming and it will soon be time to do the dreaded activity.
- You think about how much you just don’t want to do it.
- You complain about it.
- You think about how much you really, really just don’t want to do it.
- You do it and think about how much you dislike it while you are doing it.
- You then start immediately preparing for the cycle to start again (because of course the time will come when you will need to do the dreaded activity again).
Sound familiar? Is this something you have ever experienced?
Well, TODAY is the day to change things up. You can’t afford to go another day doing anything you dislike and so that means you have two choices:
(1) Stop doing whatever it is that you dislike
but, if that is just not possible then you have to …
(2) Improve your perspective and find a way to make whatever it is less painful (in fact, you actually need to go one step farther and find a way to enjoy it).
Those really are your only 2 choices.
It is not a choice and it is definitely not a solution to just continue doing things you dislike and to continue disliking them.
You destroy your positive energy and your good mindset.
And, there is nothing more important than your good mindset and having your positive energy flowing. It literally impacts every single thing you do and you can really work against yourself if you don’t have the right frame of mind.
You should prioritize your mindset and how you feel as you move through your day over anything and everything.
And, Today is the day to choose to do things differently from here on out.
option #1: stop doing the activity
If you are able to stop doing the activity and feel that is the best solution then that’s easy … just don’t do it.
No giving yourself any guilt trips or making yourself feel badly for not doing it. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by continuing to do things you dislike doing.
It usually has a negative impact on your mood and the people you live with, work with, and hang around are subjected to the side effects of your not so wonderful mood.
Also, when you do things you dislike, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to pour your positive energy and passion into whatever it is you are doing. As a result, you don’t get the best results.
So, if you can simply stop doing the activity and that feels to be the right answer, then stop doing it. It really is that easy. Make it happen.
option #2: get your mind right
If it is not an option to stop doing the activity, then it is time to go to work on your perspective and how you feel about the activity.
You have to start choosing to see the activity in a better light. That really is your only choice.
There has to be something good about it. Here are some potential benefits to think about:
- Is it a stepping stone preparing you for something great in the future?
- Is it providing you with financial or some other type of support?
- Are there are lessons you can and should be learning from the experience (there always are)?
- Are you meeting new and interesting people?
- Are you being exposed to new things and having new experiences?
Whatever the case may be, if quitting is not a realistic or appropriate option, then you have got to start searching for and appreciating the value of whatever it is you are doing.
Don’t let another day go by where you dread doing something. Change what you are doing or change your perspective. It will be one of the best things you ever do for yourself.
Live Today Better than Yesterday.
If you have a chance, please drop by the Possibility of Today Facebook Page. I recently launched it and would love to be able to connect with you on Facebook. And of course, if you have any other comments or questions, please leave them below or send me an e-mail. I always love hearing from readers.
This is really great advice. It’s almost a “knee-jerk” reaction to start opposing this point of view because we want to protect our right to feel badly.
The truth is that when we take responsibility for the situation that we don’t like and either extricate ourselves from it (as you did) or/and change our mindset regarding our situation, then the situation itself must change.
This is a great reminder to me. Thanks.
Hey Steve: So glad that you saw it as a great reminder. As you mentioned, I do think there is something to be said for changing our mindset and making sure we aren’t just feeding ourselves negativity or thoughts that will make us resent the things we are doing. I really like how you put it … taking responsibility for the situation. That is a great insight. Thanks for sharing it and stopping by.
I have used both options with great success. Meetings? Just say no. Option 2–It helps me sometimes to think of something I’m grateful for in connection to whatever it is I don’t enjoy. For example, I am not fond of housecleaning. For the most part I choose Option 1 and delegate most everything in that category to chores for the kids. For whatever stays on my to do list, I could choose not to do it of course, but I like a clean house. So I remind myself to be grateful. I have a house I really love. I have cleaning equipment and materials that make my job easier and faster. I feel so good when the house is clean. Being grateful shifts my attitude so that I’m no longer doing something I dislike–just like you said!
Galen: Such a great point. Gratitude really does melt away all negativity and just opens you up to experience things from a much better perspective. When we can really think of all the reasons why we are appreciative of something, we just bring the right types of thoughts top of mind.
Hi Sibyl,
I have a feel about where you are coming from. I agree that my Life is a “oncer” in this body therefore doing ‘stuff’ that I don’t need to do is fairly much a given.
There are things you must do that you don’t like, some things are inescapable however don’t make them a habit. I like your Option 2 “perspective”, often the key, turn the “disslike” toward more “likeable”. Thank you again.
be good to yourself
David
Hey David. I would agree that sometimes there are obligations that you just can’t drop. When that is the case, I think it is a great opportunity to go to work on your mindset. How can you see things differently and in an improved light. Thanks so much for dropping by.
Thanks for writing this Sybil. A great place to practice option 2 is with jobs we hate. But there’s always a lesson, experience or skill we can take away from it. Finding out what that is can be our focus when we are doing work we don’t like.
Vishnu: I totally agree. I think sometimes we can find lessons and good practice in places we may least expect. When we are working at a job we hate and we just feel that we have to continue working, it is a great opportunity to work on our mindset and push ourselves to figure out how we can see things in a better light.
Hi Sibyl,
I couldn’t agree with you more. I ask myself repeatedly during the day: what do you really want to be doing? And then do it. It seems to make for a better quality of life.
Riley
Hey Riley: You are so right. It definitely makes for a much better quality of life. When you can surround yourself with things that you love to do, it just naturally keeps all the good energy flowing. Thanks so much for dropping by.
If YOU dont like what your doing. Whats the POINT in doing it. I mean really. Truthfully ,we all have obligations. But the real truth, is that we chose what we are obligated to do. So if YOU are upset that your working at a job for 16 years that you hate, it’s no ones fault but your own. And no one can change this but YOU and taking the advice Sibyl’s advice, like she’s Oprah herself.
If you don’t like it, don’t do it. Find your passion. It’s worth the effort. Then throw your whole heart into.
Jonathan: That quote is totally tweetable
I love it. “If you don’t like it, don’t do it. Find your passion. It’s worth the effort. Then throw your whole heart into it.” That really is what it is all about. Thanks for dropping by.
Sibyl,
What a fortunate coincidence that I should read this post today when I am planning to got to my office- I don’t dread going as much as I wish I no longer had to go. I can’t quit yet but, I hope to soon. I agree – we create so much bad energy around us when we do things we hate. If we can we should stop doing those things.
Hey Angela: Glad the timing of the article was good
It really is all about having the right perspective on the things you are doing. If you can’t exactly change things up completely, you can always change the way you think about them 
Thanks so much for dropping by.
I say absolutely YES to this perspective! Have been doing the same and life is so much more grander for it. I find myself a painter and author now…lol. This newness of energy flowing through me also attracts me with people that express themselves the same way. Gotta love it!
A painter and an author … that sounds great and very satisfying. I agree with what you said about doing what you love and then having all sorts of great people with great energy naturally attract to you. You definitely have to love it
Not always possible
hmmmmm…what? Don’t you think you can always do one of the 2 options? Curious to hear your thoughts
I would like to thank you for the above article. So much of what we do in life involves others and life activities. This article even applies to people in our lives, if you find that there people who seem to consume you with their thought patterns, whether they are reflecting our own personal creation or their own. It maybe time to step back and look to changing our prospective or let them walk out of our lives, because it’s really about our happiness and love for self.
Donna: You are so welcome. I am glad that you liked the article and I totally agree with what you said. You really do have to make certain that you surround yourself with the right types of people. I am all about being aware of the energy that other people are bringing and if it is always negative, then you want to make certain that you aren’t getting too sucked in or weighed down by the negativity. It is all about making sure that you are doing things that allow you to continually have a positive mindset.
Hey Sibyl,
This is such goooood advice. I’ve come to the same place in my life, I’m so much better for it (not doing things I don’t like that is). I do think there is a fine line, however, because sometimes things you like get tough and you can feel like you don’t like them anymore. In those cases, I think it’s important to get to the root of what you dislike because by nature some things you just must push through to see through to the finish. Some things require commitment, even when you don’t like them. I believe the key is to remember why to began whatever that thing is in the first place.
Keep rockin’ the possibility of today, girl!
Hi Sibyl,
Nice post my friend. Exactly if we can’t stop doing what we dislike, then we have got to change our mindset about it. Attitude is 90% of the process and that is the only thing we have control over. Thanks for sharing Sibyl, great post!
Thanks for the comment Dia and for stopping by. Attitude and mindset really is everything. As you said, its all about how we feel as we move through our days.
everything you say ,think, or do ,everything you are around either expands your energy or contracts it. when your energy expands ,you experience greater happiness, when you energy contracts,you experience less happiness
So very, very true. That is why you always want to be doing something you love or find a way to love what you are doing;) thanks so much for the comment and for stopping by.
Thank you for writing this. I’m going to have to think about Option 2, as I find myself in that very situation. I knew this, read it, heard about it before, but until I read it just now, I’d forgotten that this is what I need to do.
Thanks for the reminder!
)
You are so very welcome. Sometimes it is all about the little reminders that just point you in the direction you need to go right at the perfect time;)