Are you a complainer? Do you sometimes find yourself focusing on and pointing out what you don’t like or what bothers you about a situation or a person?
No one really thinks they are a consistent complainer, but the reality is we often complain without realizing we’re doing it.
Complaining does nothing good for us. Even if you complain very infrequently, it is working against you, draining your positive energy and tainting everything you experience.
That is why I am hoping that everyone will join me in the 30 Day Complaint Free Challenge (CF 30) that begins this week.
It’s time to put an end to all of our complaining and open ourselves to all the amazing things life offers us when we are complaint free.
You will be absolutely amazed at the positive impact becoming complaint free will have on every single thing you do.
As you may already know, I am a huge fan of so many of the great minds in the blogosphere. There are so many bloggers with fascinating perspectives. They are all filled with so much wisdom and the interesting thing I noticed, is that many of them are totally complaint free … or at the very least, on the road to becoming complaint free.
I asked some of the greatest minds in the blogosphere to share their thoughts on the importance of becoming complaint free and tips on how they stay complaint free as they move through the day.
Check out their responses below and make sure you stop back by on Thursday to get information on the Complaint Free Challenge.
Also, please check out the free eBook: “How to Stop Complaining and Start Living”. It is in the Living Better Bonus Kit and you can get instant access to it simply by entering your e-mail and signing up for Free (if you are already a subscriber, just type in your e-mail and it will take you directly to the Living Better Bonus Kit without double subscribing you).
There is a different way to live.
22 Tips From 22 Great Minds In the Blogosphere
Corbett Barr – Corbett Barr
How do I get through the day without complaining? I actually don’t. Naturally, I waffle between positive and negative outlooks, and my personal challenge is to remember that positivity leads to such a better existence.
Earlier this year, I set a standing appointment with myself every week on my calendar where I examine my mindset and consider what is great about my life. That definitely helps me complain much less to start the week. It’s a work in progress, but that’s also the fun part.
Seth Godin – Seth’s Blog
I think the secret is focusing on something other than the thing you might be tempted to complain about. Focus drives our emotions.
Lori Deschene – Tiny Buddha
I can’t honestly say I’ve ever gotten through a day without complaining, but it’s something I work at. I have found that self-awareness is everything. It’s all too easy to simply react to everything that seems frustrating without ever realizing you’re at the mercy of your circumstances. Meditation helps tremendously. I aim for at least 10 minutes per day, and I find this makes it a lot easier to observe my thoughts instead of letting them control me.
Dragos Roua – Brilliantly Better
“Complaining is an open invitation for trouble. I mean, yes, you may have been through some painful circumstance, and you may be in those circumstances right now, but complaining about those will have this magnifying effect; it’s like isolating your trouble and putting a loupe on it. Not only you will see it bigger than it is, but it will soon take over your entire visual field and you won’t be able to see anything else.”
Henrik Edberg – The Positivity Blog
One of my most effective tips is – when I feel like complaining – to ask myself: Is there anyone on the planet having it worse than me right now? That helps me to snap of the complaining mindset and to be grateful for all the things I have in my life.
Farnoosh Brock- Prolific Living
There are so many ways to look at the fabulous blessings in our lives but we forget them. We are human beings and the smallest things still get on our nerves so we need a habit to bring us to reality. My recent habit is that whenever anything goes wrong, from iPhone crashing to an angry email to a criticism that came out of nowhere, I simply smile and say “That’s awesome!” and I mean it in all sincerity, not in sarcasm. It is awesome that I now have an opportunity to turn this into something good. There is no attraction, no good, and no desirable outcome in complaining and besides haven’t we all done it more than enough? Time for a new way to look at life because it really is awesome.
Steven Aitchison – Change Your Thoughts
When you complain, and moan, you are effectively giving your energy away. You are also infecting your brain, as that one complaint can lead to 100 other negative thoughts, which can lead to 1000 other negative thoughts, and pretty soon you’re stuck in a negative rut.
The trick to not complaining is constantly remind yourself of how blessed you are, even if you don’t fell blessed, just remind yourself about everything that is good in your life and as long as you have the good things and the love around you, you will soon forget to complain.
Anastasiya Goers – Balance In Me
I can think of three distinct tips that help me stay complaint-free every day.
1. Every time that I have the urge to complain I immediately think about the people I love. I am blessed to have a wonderful family and I know that nothing in the world is more important for me than that. What can I complain about then?
2. Another “trick” to complaining very little is to do at least one thing that you love every day. We all have days when we get busy, tangled up with tasks and feel that the entire world is against us for some reason. No matter how difficult the day might be it is important to have something that will nurture your soul, your body and basically bring you in balance. That little thing can be just a walk alone, meditation in complete silence or a decadent desert.
3. And finally my most effective way to stay complaint-free is to stop watching news (and most TV shows in general.) The less negative thoughts you let into your head the more you can enjoy your life, be grateful and do something that you actually love.
Jonathan Mead – Illuminated Mind
“Start your day reflecting on all of the things you appreciate. The way you start your day has a big impact on the way the rest of your day will go, so the more you can start each day with appreciation the easier it will be to avoid complaining.”
Rob White – Mind Adventure
I take the time to notice my complaints without self-defense; this means that I go deep within and ask to see the matter from pure awareness, which is above my ordinary, self-centered thinking. Simply knowing that I can see the matter differently helps me to complain less than I used to.
Donald Latumahina – Life Optimizer
Look at the positive side of everything. Even things that seem bad actually have a positive side. Look for it and keep it in you mind.
Gail Brenner – A Flourishing Life
Not to sound trite, but my tip for not complaining is to go with the flow. My favorite mantra is, “Oh, this.” Whatever happens, even if it’s something I don’t expect and don’t like, I may have an initial reaction, but then very quickly, I say, “Oh, this,” in a very accepting way. Then I go about dealing with it in whatever way is appropriate. This perspective has brought a lot of sanity to my life.
Angela Artemis – Powered By Intuition
“As I’ve matured I’ve learned that complaining never truly makes your life better.
Through meditation and self-awareness I’ve been working on becoming non-reactive to negative stimuli overall. I also now choose to see refraining from complaining as an opportunity to learn patience and to self-reflect to see how I might have been complicit in creating the situation. I’ve been noticing that the more I practice self-reflection the fewer times situations arise where I might want to complain.
But, lest I leave you with the wrong impression, I am no saint and believe me there are times when I still complain plenty! I’m a work in progress like everyone else on the planet.”
Marlee Ward – Marlee Ward
I think complaining is a huge waste of time. I’ve always believed that whatever you resist will persist or grow stronger. So when you complain you are resisting whatever you are complaining about, which will ultimately make the situation worse in one way or another. When I feel a desire to complain rising up within me I try to think of the millions of people who have far greater trials and disasters that they are facing in their life. That enables me to shift to a place of gratitude. And typically, if I can do this well, whatever was bothering me suddenly has very little hold on my emotions. It takes time to get good at, but the more you do it the better you become!
JD Meier - Sources of Insight
When I was younger, I complained a lot, but it’s like that saying … laugh, the world laughs with you, cry you cry alone. I also realized that it’s way more effective to just fix something, or let it go, than to complain about it (and as my Mom always said to me, “If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.”) Just that little saying helped me turn potential complaints into positive actions.
But, the thing that really helped me change my outlook the most was a simple concept I read in a book. The point was this …the most frustrated people in life, have a low frustration tolerance and they create their own frustration, because of this pattern. The fact this came from somebody I trusted who had studied depression for years, had an immediate and profound effect on me.
I instantly raised my frustration tolerance and decided that I would NOT be the source of my own frustration. The positive impact flowed from there, and continued ever since.
JK Allen – Hustler’s Notebook
I’m able to keep complaining to a minimum by living my life within perspective. Recognizing my many blessings allows me to see life as a gift, which reduces my want or need to complain. Each morning I’m met by the thought of appreciation for making it to another day…because I know there’s another person somewhere in the world that didn’t have the same fortune. How in the world could I be a complainer having that on my mine? I can’t!
Lance Ekum – Jungle of Life
I remind myself that I can choose – choose to see the good in the moment. If I catch myself starting to veer toward a moment of complaint, I look for something positive in that moment, and then move my focus toward that positive. When I do this – when I choose to see a positive, my whole outlook is that much more upbeat.
Side note on this: two days ago I was out biking. And I was going right into the wind. My initial mind-thought was: how unlucky is this – couldn’t I just get a nice easy bike ride. And then I did exactly that above – seeing the positive as an opportunity to make myself even stronger (by the extra challenge). Instant shift, and I was ready to tackle that wind!!
Frank Jennings – A Spark Starts
One of the greatest techniques I have used to reduce the level of my complaining is understand that someone has it much worse than myself. No matter how unfair life may seem, I have food to eat, clothes to wear and a place to live. With all of that I don’t think I have the right to complain.
Galen Pearl - 10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place
I use several techniques to eliminate complaining, or at least to minimize it. Here are three quick and easy ones. (1) I remind myself that I don’t know if something is good or bad. As Shakespeare wrote, “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Avoiding judgment avoids complaints. (2) I shift to gratitude. You can’t complain if you are being grateful. So, for example, if start to complain about the rain (a common complaint in the Pacific Northwest), I say instead, “I’m grateful for the rain.” Then I think about why. I’m grateful for the rain because it fills our reservoirs, blankets the mountain with snow, produces our famous rose gardens, and creates the lush green vegetation that I love so much. (3) I switch from “I have to” to “I get to.” Try changing that one word and see what happens!
Dia Thabet – 2 Achieve Your Goals
One of the major keys to go throughout the day with little complaining is to take responsibility for how you feel. By taking responsibility, you learn to avoid the blame game and when you do that, you will begin to see the positive difference in your life. It is a skill that must be practiced daily for best results.
John Sherry – 100% You
I was once a serial complainer (i.e. I would start first thing with cereal and carry on all day!) who always found more to dislike than enjoy. Which meant I was often disliked as a person in return. After a while the continual awful feeling that this brought gnawed away at me and made me wake up and smell the coffee of complaint.
I decided to like more of everything I see, everyone I met, every place I went, and every day I live. Not love or abundant gratitude (that’s difficult to maintain and unrealistic for the everyday harrassed soul), just liking things more.
Plus I use my internal radar now. If my feelings are good then so is the mood, but if I stray into moany moany, I also veer into feeling yuk and horrible. My body tells me how I’m doing and I’ve no complaints at how accurate it has become. When I like, my emotions match and like me. Like a lot, moan less, live more. Bingo!
Jennifer Brown Banks – Pen and Prosper
For me, I think that my spirituality helps. God has been so good. Even amid difficult days, I don’t have to look far to be reminded of this. My health, my home, my friends, family and work that I love.
Besides, things could always be worse; that’s my philosophy.
B/T/W I do complain. But, I’m trying to get better.
Jonathan Figaro – Jonathan Figaro
One way to reduce or eradicate complaining is to live by this quote. “If it’s to be. it’s up to me.” If you want to be great or achieve greatness, you have to never complain and never explain. Just take full responsibility for your life. Like John F Kennedy said, ” It’s not what your country can do for you. But what you can do for your country.” Take command. Take control of your life and cultivate your own destiny.