“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” John Kabat-Zin
I have to admit that I used to think it was possible to “stop the waves” and remove all the challenges from your life.
I thought if I could just get my life organized and in balance, accomplish the things I wanted and continually make good decision after good decision, I would reach the point where my life would be free of challenges.
Oh, how great that would be. Can you imagine a life free of challenges?
Well, not only was I wrong about that being possible, I now realize that not having challenges is not really something you want.
Challenges exist for a reason.
Even though they can be difficult to manage through and can hit you at your core, if you had a life free of challenges, you would really just be going through the motions and miss out on some very important opportunities to grow and get stronger.
You would never be able to really live up to your full potential.
Are you buying that? Do you agree?
Honestly, I used to not really buy into the whole “challenges being good for you” theory. I mean it really sucked (for lack of a better word) when challenges came my way and things didn’t go as planned.
I really didn’t care about getting stronger and learning the lessons I needed for the future when things were not going the way I wanted them today.
But, you live and learn … right?
And, now I can honestly say that when I look back on every single challenge I had, even the ones that knocked me off my feet, I realize they all played an extremely important role in my life.
Challenges help shape our character, round out any rough edges, give us lessons we need for our future success and most importantly allow us to realize that we absolutely can manage through anything that comes our way.
There’s no reason to resent them or wish for a challenge free life.
They really do exist for a very good reason, even if you can’t see why at the time.
So, instead of working to organize life to try and make it challenge free, all we really need to understand is how to best ride the waves because challenges are going to come our way from time to time.
But, if you can step back, see them for what they are, and learn the lesson you are supposed to they will not knock you off your feet. They will just make you a better surfer. And, that’s exactly what we need.
how do you best manage through challenges?
1. Accept it. It is easy to get bothered or upset by the fact that a challenge has come your way. “Everything was going so well. I can’t believe this is happening.” Why me?” “Can’t this issue just go away?” These are just some of the things that may come to mind when you haven’t really accepted a challenge. However, the first thing you want to do when you realize a challenge has come your way is accept it for what it is. Don’t resent it or pretend like it’s not there. Just accept the fact that you are being challenged.
2. Realize the best way out is walking through. It really helps if you decide from the very beginning of a challenge that you are going to face the challenge and overcome it. No hiding from it or pretending it doesn’t exist. What’s the solution? What’s the best way through?
3. Let your emotions boil to the surface and evaporate. It’s highly likely that when a challenge comes our way, we may have an initial negative reaction to it. Hey, we are human. However, the best thing about negative reactions is that if you can recognize them, you can acknowledge their presence, manage them by stepping back and looking at things from a different perspective, and eventually they will evaporate.
4. Know there is a lesson and something beneficial for you. Although it can be difficult to see the lesson or the benefit of a challenge, there always is one. You just have to be willing to step back and look for it. And, if you still don’t see it, you need to just have confidence that somehow, someway, there is a good reason for whatever is happening.
5. Figure out the steps to take and take them. I am not one for experiencing a challenge any longer than necessary. Although I get it that they may come from time to time, there’s no reason to allow them to linger. Figure out the direction you want to go in and start taking steps to manage through the challenge that has come your way.
Live Today Better than Yesterday.
This was very good and helpful!! Thank You.
Hey Shay:) I am so glad that you enjoyed the article. Thanks for dropping by.
this is truly a thanksgiving report….we can learn our best lessons through challenges….I feel this and the part with they can sweep you off your foot, I know for sure but like a baby, they are the things that give us the fuel to rise again and then make the winning stroke because we sometimes become dependent of the success to move forward and with the constant push we can ultimately meet it. Thanks again Sibyl.
Hey Nigel: What you said is so true about challenges being the things that give us the fuel we need. It can be hard to realize that at the time, but that really is so true. Thanks so much for the comment and for stopping by.
Sibyl,
I couldn’t agree more. Challenges do benefit us it if we keep an open mind and look at them for the lessons we can learn. However – I sure as heck wouldn’t mind if somethings came easily to me. Nope, you wouldn’t catch me complaining about that one at all!
I am with you on that one Angela:) I would love for some things to come easily and I do think that really is possible. Everything doesn’t have to be a challenge helping us grow and learn … right?
Hi Sibyl,
I too used to think that I could do anything. But then when I realized how challenging life is, I had to reassess my original views.
As you rightly point out, accepting a challenge is one of the main ways to manage it. By doing so, you will be able to focus on the solution instead of the problem to take active steps to resolve the issue at hand.
Like you I believe that challenges exist for a reason. It is really the way that Life shapes and moulds us to manage greater things ahead. We are not born with the capacity to manage great things. While all of us have the potential for greater, we need challenges to unlock this potential. It is only through challenges that we gain the experience, wisdom and insights to manage greater things.
Thank you for showing us how to live today better than yesterday!
Irving the Vizier
Irving: I love what you said about challenges unlocking our potential. I think that really is such an insightful thought and is so true. It can be challenging to step back and be able to see that when an issue comes our way, but it really is how we grow and get stronger. Thanks so much for the comment.
Thank you- We are a times overwhelmed and we do not know what to do, a times we know what to do and do not want to do it. Words of wisdom and encouragement are very much essential in our lives.
Hey Stephen: Thanks for the comment. It really is true that we may have those times where we are overwhelmed. I think it is all about committing to manage through whatever comes our way. When we have that mindset, we really set ourselves up to handle whatever comes. Thank you so much for the comment and for dropping by.
In my Shambhala mindfulness/mediation training, there is a phrase that reminds me of your point here. The phrase is “Everything is workable,” meaning that everything that happens can become part of our practice, an opportunity to be present and mindful. In that sense, challenges are like any other things we face in life. In addition to building character and other benefits, they give us the opportunity to not get hooked into our dramas, but to move through with equanimity and grace. At least that’s the idea!
I love that Galen … everything is workable. That is such a powerful statement and you are so right that anything can be worked through. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here.
Peace to you and love to you and all that you do.
Thank you Leticia:) I really appreciate your kind words and that you would take the time to send such a thoughtful comment my way:)
Hi Sibyl,
I *love* the quote! Many of my friends surf..they have passion and dedication..are out there in the ocean when the water is cold and the wind is up (conditions some of us may find “challenging”). As they surf, there are often times they collide with one another and get physically hurt, the activity taxes their body, they will wipe out in the waves..and each and every time, they get back on the board..enthusiastically… because they love what they are doing!
I think that is the lesson they share: when we love what we are creating, it is almost “play” despite challenges, which help us hone our craft, instead of distract us from that craft. When we are less than vested, challenges may seem overwhelming, because in that case, they are.
The tips you share are very do-able and effective….thank you!
Hey Joy. Thanks for that great comment. It was so thoughtful and is filled with so much wisdom. I love what you said about continuing to “play” when we really are passionate about what we are creating. So very true:)
Hi Sibyl,
I love the five steps in your tough-minded approach!
I too used to wish the sailing was always smooth! I’m not sure I don’t still wish that, though I am coming to enjoy sinking my teeth into a challenge. I think what makes the difference is knowing that even if you don’t know what to do, you know you will find a way to find a way what to do
Lori
Thanks Lori for dropping by and taking the time to comment. I totally agree with you that we will always find a way if we just commit to managing through whatever comes our way. Thanks so much for the comment.
Challenges makes us appreciative, makes us grateful, makes us thankful, leaves us humble; in a state for more learning, molding and development … its a necessary part of our human experience towards our spiritual greatness!
I love that Shirley. You are so right. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here and taking the time to comment.
“The man who has known pure joy, if only for a moment … is the only man for whom affliction is something devastating. At the same time he is the only man who has not deserved the punishment. But, after all, for him it is no punishment; it is God holding his hand and pressing rather hard. For, if he remains constant, what he will discover buried deep under the sound of his own lamentations is the pearl of the silence of God.”
— Simone Weil
Hi Sibyl,
Yesterday I ran and speed walked Cowels Mountain in 24 minutes.
http://www.mtrp.org/pop_map_details.asp?area_idno=0&habitat_idno=0&trail_idno=3
Upon reaching the crest when I took out my cell phone to time the accent I found a text message reminding me of the financial ‘challenge’ of putting my daughter through college. My ‘emotions’ even at that moment on top of the world and physically charged were easily asking “How in the hell will I do it and be able to have the personal life that has eluded me for over the past 10 years?”
Well… “No hiding from it or pretending it doesn’t exist.” Even up there while trying to catch my breath. Actually the actions taken in maintaining ones health and being amongst God and Nature is a fine way to find solutions.
Your number 3 works for this. And number 4 does give some ‘personal’ solice.
Next time I go up Cowels Mountain *I will* improve my time of 24 minutes. Next time I go up Cowels Mountain *I will* have a better plan to my challenge.
Never know…maybe a nice *single mom* will run up with me some time!
Rand: So glad that you liked the post and that it came to you at a good time. Congrats on running and speed walking Cowels Mountain in 24 minutes … that is the real deal:) Thanks again for the comment and for dropping by.
Thank you for putting such powerful encouragement out there for your readers.
You are very welcome Robin:) Thanks for the kind words.
Very true. Life without challenges will be so boring however, we never the fact.
And boring is just no fun …
Thanks so much for the comment and dropping by Sumant.
nothing like a challenge to perk up the pump that rejuvenates us. challenge not only revives the juices of power, strength and joy, it also ups the testosterone levels a notch or two. that spells good nookie and lots of manly musky muscles and much macho male machinery cranking out the reps and sets at a gym. hey, i may not be a wizard but i know all it takes is all you got. don’t go for second best or half eff-ort. go the whole hog and live up to your masculine nature of a rugged adventurer and fiery fighter from the far woods. better to die trying than never try and die a wimp and a coward!
Thanks Kashif so much for the comment and for dropping by. I totally agree that you should never settle for giving anything less than your best. Thanks for taking the time again to drop by and visit. I appreciate it.