It doesn’t always take a lot to make a relationship better, but it does take intent.
Do you think there’s a formula for success when it comes to maintaining a great relationship? Are there certain things that you can do that will just keep the right energy flowing and help your relationship continually flourish and get stronger and stronger?
When I used to try to figure out why some of my relationships went wrong — of course, it was easy for me to reach the conclusion that “he just wasn’t the one”. I would think through what went wrong, what I could’ve done better, what he should’ve done better and arrive at the conclusion that some things are just not meant to be.
Looking back now on my past relationships, I can definitely say that is absolutely true. All relationships aren’t meant to work out.
Sometimes It’s Just About Learning The Lesson
There are those relationships where we are simply meant to learn about ourselves, smooth out any of our rough edges, help the other person smooth out their rough edges and of course move on stronger having learned all the lessons we were supposed to.
But, as is often the case, the lessons are key and oftentimes the most important part of a relationship that didn’t work out. Understanding and learning the lessons are what sets us up for success in the future when we do find that person we really are meant to be with.
And, one lesson that came through loud and clear from my past relationships was that I probably wasn’t as thoughtful as I could’ve been about how to cultivate and maintain a relationship.
So, I am now all about trying to be as thoughtful as I can be when it comes to my relationship. There are three things that really seem to be working. If you are in a relationship, these are 3 simple things you can start doing today and make your relationship even stronger. If you are in between relationships, resting, recharging, reflecting on lessons learned — these are three things you can do when the right person comes your way (and yes, the right person is definitely on the way).
The Possibility of Today
3 Simple Things To Improve Any Relationship or Make It Even Stronger
1. Talk Night. It’s so easy to get caught up in all that you have going on — your job, your responsibilities, your goals, etc. That’s why its important to designate one night of the week as “talk night”. Turn off the tv, put any children to bed, turn off your cell phones or any other distractions and discuss –what’s working, what’s not working, your goals, your dreams, how far you’ve come together and anything else that comes to mind. It may sound silly, but just reserving this time every week ensures that you are communicating. Also, make sure that you aren’t just focusing on what’s not working and what the other person is doing wrong. Focus a significant amount of time on the “good” stuff that excites and energizes you.
2. See the other person as a teacher. Yes, there are things your significant other could do better and you are supposed to kindly bring those to their attention. But, there are also things (believe it or not) that you are supposed to learn from the person you are with. There is a reason the two of you have been brought together. There are experiences you are meant to have and there are important take away messages for you that will help you grow personally. Don’t miss them because you aren’t looking to see what you could learn. Looking at the other person as a teacher also helps focus you on the right things — the other person’s strengths and the real value of your relationship.
3. It’s all about Today. When you wake up in the morning, think about what you can do today to show the other person that you care. What is something thoughtful you can do for them – not next month or tomorrow – but today? It doesn’t have to be anything big (even just sending an “I love you” text message or giving an unexpected hug or kiss counts). Just do something to show that you are thinking of them and have prioritized them in your day.