Everyday is amazing. Even if it’s awful. Because everything is for a reason. Because I know that this horrible thing that happens today will bring me something amazing tomorrow. Sandra Bullock
Have you ever had those times in your life that you just don’t understand? Those situations where you have no real answer to the question “Why?”
Why is this happening?
Why did I have to go through that?
Why me — Why now?
I think a lot of us have had those times where things don’t make much sense and we don’t understand why we are going through a certain situation. I know I had my fair share of times where I felt like so much was going awry and there was no way I could even begin to think of any reasons why.
All I knew was that things were very off and I was having a hard time getting them back on.
I was tired of feeling the way I did and I wondered if and when things would ever feel “normal” again. I used to go through those situations trying to make sense of all that was happening. I spent way too much time wondering and questioning “Why?”. I thought if I could just make some sense of things, it would somehow make the situation easier.
It’s Okay If You Don’t Know Why
But, after making that mistake too many times to count, I finally figured out there was a much better way through.
I realized that we don’t have to ever be able to answer any of the “Why” questions in order to manage through a situation. If you can’t make sense of things, then that’s not something that should bother or upset you. It’s not something you should let weigh on your mind or feel that you have to figure out.
Oftentimes when you can’t answer “Why”, it’s because you are being pointed in the direction of “Yes” and that’s all you need to carry you through.
Yes, I believe.
Yes, I trust the process and the way things unfold.
Yes, I know that this situation that feels so heavy today is somehow helping me, strengthening me and setting me up to be in a better place tomorrow.
Life throws curve balls. Unexpected challenges arise for all of us. There’s no denying any of that. But, we can allow situations to get the best of us and pull us down. We can decide things are unfair and get frustrated because we can’t explain them. Or, we can choose to do things differently.
And, what I realized is that differently is better. Focusing on “Yes” and reminding ourselves of what we know deep down to be true is what we really are meant to do. It relieves a lot of the heaviness of the situation and allows us to push through whatever comes our way.
The best thing we can do is learn to live from that side of ourselves that just knows it’s okay. The side of us that absolutely knows we will get through. The side of us that always says Yes, I’ve got this.
That’s always the best way through anything.
The Possibility of Today:
1. Recharge your Extraordinary Side. Charge your Extraordinary Side every single morning before you jump into the day. Read things that inspire you and remind you how strong you really are. It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting a challenge weigh you down, but if you awaken your Extraordinary Side, it will be ready and willing to carry you through the day. It will pull you up and get that good energy flowing again.
2. Spend time doing things you enjoy. Do whatever you love – yoga, walking, reading, relaxing or anything else you love. Take your “You” time. It keeps you connected to your Extraordinary Side.
3. Remind Yourself of What You Know. Anytime a negative thought comes into your mind or you get upset because you can’t answer “Why”, remind yourself of what you know deep down – everything will be okay. Do this over and over again until you drown out the voice of the Chief Negativity Officer in your mind.
Live Today Better than Yesterday.
Did you like this article? Please share your thoughts below in the comment section. As always, if you need to contact me, please feel free to use the contact form or e-mail me at sibyl@possibilityoftoday.com. It’s always great to hear from you.
A great help to me. A friend recently asked me why I was so loving toward someone who has done me wrong and at first I didn’t actually know why, but after some reflection it’s simply because I’m committed to believing that the answer will come in time. While I’m here I might as well ask God to show me what I need to learn and do something good for myself and others. This article really helped to confirm my hearts perspective and to encourage me to continue on this path. The alternative would be depression and doubt and I don’t want those feelings to be in control.
Loraine: Thanks so much for dropping by and taking the time to comment. I am glad that you found this article helpful:) Thanks for that feedback. And, yes, I would agree that you should continue on the path you are on. Sounds like the right direction to me:)
Oh yes, sometimes we’re not easy on ourselves. Forget about others; often, our own expectations of ourselves are so high we always fall short during those times. (That snarky negative committee at work!) Add to it, an over-analysis of everything and the “why me” just sticks like superglue.
Sometimes just letting go of everything and just living in the moment does wonders for our perspective. And not feeling guilty after we’ve done it 
Great post, as ever, Sibyl!
So true Vidya. I think you are right that it is all about living in the moment. I know it has definitely done wonders for my perspective. Thanks so much for the message and for dropping by:)
Great Post Sibyl. Everyone of us go through this. Drowning the CNO from our mind, is a must, tough to follow but we can do it.
Thanks
Siva
So true:) I love how you put it – drown out the CNO. That’s what it is all about. Thanks so much for the comment and for dropping by.
Thanks Sivakumar. I appreciate your comment. It actually brings to mind one of my favorit quotes by Art Williams (I think:)) I didn’t say it was going to be easy. I said it would be worth it. Here’s to drowning out our CNOs:)
Hi Sybil, great advice here. I tend to want to analyze everything in my life. When I get self-critical and feel negative I find having a pep talk with myself in the mirror reignites my “YOU GO GIRL” attitude. I think asking myself “why me” puts me in a victim mentality and instead ask “what am I supposed to learn?”
So true Andrea about the victim mentality. I think that is something we always want to avoid doing. Thanks so much for dropping by and thanks for the comment.
For a long time I would wonder why certain situations had to happen to “me” and not other people. What mistakes did I make that caused this; was I being punished for something by the universe? As i started to accept these situations
as a part of my life I saw them as experiences with a lesson in it. I would then start to lighten up about things and be able to move forward and get back on track with living my life.
10 years ago I had a bicycle fork and front wheel come off the bike and the resulting face-plant nearly killed me.
During the year-long recovery, I asked a good friend, “Why do you think this happened? What’s the lesson I’m supposed to learn? What possible karma am I playing out.?”
She answered, “While there’s surely karma involved in many events, sometimes, I think, the universe just has free-floating crap in the air and we happen to run into it.”
Works for me!
Hi Bill,
Perhaps this quote can help answer your question “Why do you think this happened?”
“It is very important to a lot of people to make unmistakably clear to themselves and to the universe that they love the universe but are not intimidated by it and will not be shaken by it, no matter what it has in store. Moreover, they demand something from themselves early in life that can be taken ever after as a demonstration of this abiding feeling.”
― Norman Maclean, Young Men and Fire
Back in the 1980′s I rode the bike up to 300 miles a week. I have an 4 inch diameter scar on my right shoulder…front rim collapsed hitting a bump that I did not see while drafting…hit the top of my head first…helmet saved me. We know the risk, but choose to ‘demonstrate the abiding feeling’.
I have a hard time asking ‘Why’ about this other Maclean quote:
“It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us.”
― Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It
Shit sure does happened…
Thanks Cindy for the comment. You make a really good point about acceptance. I agree with you that it is key and helps you move on for whatever comes your way. Thanks again for the comment and for dropping by.
Well today was the capstone to a horrible two weeks, however things just have to get better. Today was so awful I got sick at work and had to leave. Time to go to bed and leave a bad day behind. Tomorrow will be better. I have faith but right now I’m going to get some much needed rest.
Sibyl,
‘WHY’ does this post have me so engaged??
…sorry
Two words stood out regards DeBorah’s (Wordsmith) comment:
“faith” and “rest”
I would like to offer these ‘words’ that come again from Simone Weil:
“We must not wish for the disappearance of our troubles but for the grace to transform them.”
― Simone Weil
May after *rest* you walk on a lighted path…
I read today an interview of a local bookstore owner. Her most “life-changing book” has been Thoreau’s Walden. Her most memorable Walden quote is, “How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book.”
Currently she cannot keep Steinbeck, Ayn Rand (no relation), and Bukowski on the shelf…”The kids always ask for Bukowski.”
I stongly recomend reading Simone Weil to help deal with ‘The Why Word’ and to realize how Gravity and Grace interact.
I swear this is my last comment…unless you happen to ask me a question or two
Love that quote Rand. In fact, I had to copy and paste that one into my favorite quote collection. Thanks for sharing it:)
This is a great post to read as I write one about the tragegy in Colorado a week ago. Mine is can something good come out of something bad. But I’m a little stuck. When I read in your post, “It’s Ok not to know why” I was inspired! Thank you Sibyl!!
Yeah, that’s a tough one isn’t it Betsy. I think it is definitely one of those situations where it’s okay not to know why. That’s a great point. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here and stopping by.
After some much need rest, peace & quiet I’m refreshed. This song by Mary Mary celebrates how I feel today. http://youtu.be/pZ9XjqUaVZM
Thank DeBorah so much for the comment and the link. There’s nothing better than being refreshed:)
Thank you for posting this, I believe I was ment to come across this for a reason; it was no mistake…that i do believe. As i sit here and read this article I feel the truth in each word that was ment to reach me , I am greatful, I embrace every message .
I would agree with you Lisa – at least that’s how it works for me. The perfect messages always come at the perfect time:) So glad you liked the article and found it helpful. Thanks for taking the time to let me know.
this was just what I needed in this moment at this particular time. Thank you, and the process of elimination, (Negativity), was understood plus will become apart of my daily process within self scrunity, and or when that little voice wants to override the voice of reason, and love, and gradititude. This is amazing reading, and good 4-the overrall spirit. Again thank you, for sharing the love.
Peace.
Donald Davis
Donald: So glad you stopped by and I am glad the article helped you out. Thanks so much for the comments and I am so glad you are going to eliminate negativity from your daily process:) It will make such a difference. Thanks again for the comment.
Thanks Sibyl, I appreciate your insights and writing from your heart and experience. I wonder why difficult times come. but I also have learned that we don’t always have the answers. Great advice in this article.
Thanks Mike. So glad you liked the article and thank you for taking the time to stop by and share your comments. I really appreciate it.
I wanted to say thank you for this article. I recently found a what I thought was a great love, who decided to go back and rekindle his marriage after being divorced for three years. I was bogged down with why in the world did he bring me in this? I just wondered why and what was wrong with me… I then took charge, went back to school and started to really pay attention at work. I work with preschool children who are dear to me. It was then that I found, as you said, that life is not ment to be worried over, it is ment to be enjoyed with what give you joy. Thank you again for reaffirming that.
Thank you so much for sharing that story. It is always so helpful to all of us to see how things play out in the real world and how you really can integrate truths into your daily life. I love how you refocused your energy on the day in front of you and allowed the worries to subside. That is an amazing skill to have and you are so right that every day is meant to be enjoyed:) Thank you so much for the comment and for dropping by.
Thanks again Sibyl,
A month ago I do believe I would have understood or appreciated this posting as I do today. I know also that today I do not understand or appreciate it as much as I will in the future.
Just when you feel like life is falling apart all around you, there is something at work preparing you for a better tomorrow.
Peace to you,
Mike
Mike: Thanks for the comment and I admire your wisdom and insight:) You are so right that we are always learning and growing. There are things going on behind the scenes and although sometimes it’s difficult to see the light, it’s always there. Do your best to focus on the light and take each day one at a time. Your pieces will be put back together – that I know for sure:)