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Break Free From Having Anymore Blah or Terrible Conversations

There are not many things worse than being trapped in an uncomfortable or blah conversation where your primary objective is to look for your quickest and safest escape route. Well, you never have to search for a way out again, because I have a solution for you.

It all starts with the beginning of conversations.

How do you start off conversations? Do you sound happy when you answer your phone or do people feel you are glad to see them when they enter a room or walk into your office?

Now, this is something a lot of people do not really choose to focus on. They are polite and have good phone etiquette, but focusing on how they start off conversations and how people feel seems like yet another thing to worry about. And, that’s understandable because we all really do have so many other things going on. In fact, that definitely used to be my perspective, until I discovered this technique and saw how it improved all of my conversations tenfold, even the difficult ones.

It makes an enormous difference if you are able to positively influence how people feel when a conversation or interaction begins. You get the positive energy flowing and people respond much better.

There is nothing worse than calling someone and having them answer the phone with very little enthusiasm or walking into a room and not feeling like the people in the room care or want you there. People are very good at noticing and can feel your lack of enthusiasm or if you are annoyed to be speaking to them.

You really can improve every single one of your conversations simply by focusing on how you begin them.

Let’s be honest, there are probably going to be those instances that you do have to speak to certain people you would rather not to (the annoying telemarketer, the challenging colleague or other people you would prefer to avoid), and if you can keep the energy level high and positive, you really can improve your interactions and conversations with those people too.

Regardless of who you are speaking to, you should sound pleased when you answer the phone. When your friends or other people call, they should be able to hear it in your voice that you are in a good mood and not bothered by their phone call. When a colleague walks into your office or a conference room, they should feel that you are glad they walked into the room.

So, as you move through your day today, be aware of how you are starting off conversations and interactions and make sure you are beginning them in a great way. You will be amazed at how doing this small thing will improve all of your interactions and how much other people will immediately warm up to you. You also will automatically earn the reputation of being a kind and pleasant person because people will compare you to so many other people that just don’t know how to have good conversations and interactions.

What You Should Do Differently Today (if you aren’t already):

1. When you answer the phone, make sure you sound upbeat and happy (there is no need to overdo it and sound too “Pollyanna”, but people should be able to hear some good positive energy in your voice).

2. Smile, make eye contact, and say hello when someone walks into a room.

3. If you can tell from your caller ID who is calling, start the conversation off with a friendly personal greeting and say the person’s name. “Hey Ali! What’s going on? I am so glad you called.”

4. Smile when you answer the phone. It will automatically improve your tone and how you sound.

Live Today Better Than You Did Yesterday …

10 Great Ways To Calm Down When Someone or Something Has Annoyed You

Do you have a great way to calm down when someone has pushed your buttons? What is your tolerance level?

How do you handle it when people mislead you or do something that you feel takes advantage of your kindness and honesty?

I am a pretty patient and tolerant person. I always try to give every single person the benefit of the doubt and see everyone in the best light possible.

But let’s be honest, there just may be those times when you run into someone who has their own personal issues they need to sort through and they do things that can really be upsetting or push your buttons.

You know the best thing you can do is find a way to calm down and return to your great frame of mind.

You can run into people that are dishonest, deceitful or just plain rude. And, it can be really irritating and a true test of your patience and tolerance, even if you are a very calm and collected person.

You may be someone that is consistently doing everything possible to stay centered and have a peaceful frame of mind. You meditate regularly, do yoga, jog or some other relaxation practice consistently. You have great relationships and really enjoy spending time with other people. For the most part, you always have the best mindset and get along well with everyone you come into contact with.

But, then you encounter someone who is unscrupulous, inappropriate or inconsiderate and it is necessary to find a way to calm down. Do you fall into the trap? Do you allow them to get you all worked up?

Do you let them interfere with your positive mindset?

Well, the honest answer may sometimes be yes. And, that is okay. It happens. We are human and may not be completely immune to the egos and issues that may come our way from other people.

Many of us admittedly are still strengthening our tolerance and patience skills.

However, the key is that we have to stay committed to having a great frame of mind as often as we can and that means we find a way to calm down and regain our positive mindset anytime we notice a disturbance.

We don’t beat ourselves up for being upset or bothered. We simply recognize when our peace of mind has been disturbed and focus all of our attention and effort on returning to our great frame of mind.

We can’t control how other people behave, but we can control how we react and if we allow what other people do to affect us in a negative way.

Here are 10 things you can do as soon as you recognize someone has interfered with your positive mindset. Always remember that your #1 goal is to do whatever works for you to regain your peace of mind. Any negative feelings or emotions that surface will pass like a wave, as long as you allow them to move through your system and commit to restoring your peace of mind.

1. Take 10 Deep breaths … (maybe 20 or 30 depending on what has happened and how worked up you are)

2. Give yourself credit and think about how great it is of you to take the high road. Realize you are strengthening a good trait in yourself. (As hard as it may be to believe, sometimes our best patience and tolerance trainers are those people that really do push our buttons.)

3. Take a walk and focus on something that makes you happy.

4. Call a friend and talk about something that makes you smile or laugh. Whatever you do, do not complain or talk about what has upset you (remember the idea is to get you back into the right frame of mind, not all worked up again).

5. Meditate, do yoga, read, take a jog or do some sort of exercise. Do anything that helps to take your mind off of the disturbance and relax your mind.

6. Realize that whoever upset you is not your issue and you don’t have to bother yourself with teaching them anything. No revenge or teaching them a lesson is necessary. The universe has its own way of teaching people the lessons they need.

7. Remind yourself that you are doing it for yourself. You will be the one that benefits the most from clearing your mind. Prioritize your peace of mind over everything. Realize that your peace of mind is the most important thing and refuse to allow anyone to negatively encumber it for too long.

8. Go have some fun and laugh.

9. Listen to your favorite song, sing, dance and get your positive energy flowing again.

10. Think about the things in your life that you love and appreciate. It is amazing how true gratitude and appreciation will overshadow any negative feelings you may have.

Live Today Better than Yesterday.


What We Must Know For Sure – Certainty #3 Sometimes You Should Just Let Go

This is part 3 of a series of posts entitled “What We Must Know For Sure”

There are certain things that we must know for sure. Once we realize and find our way to these truths, our life unfolds in the most amazing ways.

We are empowered by our knowledge of these truths and are able to rely on what “we know for sure” to guide our decisions and actions. Although there are many, each and every one of these truths is an important piece of our puzzle of knowledge and allows us to live our best life.  One thing that we must know for sure …

Certainty #1 – We Have Amazing Potential

Certainty #2 – Forgiveness is Sooooo Not Overrated

And, another one of the most important things we must know for sure …

Certainty #3 – Sometimes You Should Just Let Go

Think about the last time you had something that just fell apart on you.

Perhaps it was a relationship, a job, or maybe things were just going well in general, and then one day you looked up, and everything seemed to be falling apart. Things can be going great one day and then change just like that.

And, who wants to watch as things go wrong? There really is never any fun in that and it can be upsetting. We may be emotional or disturbed we are losing something we once had.

It can be hard to let go of something, especially if we were attached to what we had. We may even try to hold onto it, even though it is more than obvious that it really is slipping away.

The possibility of Today:

The best thing we can do if we notice something is slipping away or falling apart is to not resist what is happening and find a way to be open to things changing.

This is not to say that you just totally give up the minute an issue or a challenge arises, but rather that if things are continually changing and moving in a certain direction, you let them go in the direction they are naturally flowing.

Although it can be difficult to realize at the time, everything really does happen for a reason and we are far better off to accept that change instead of resisting and fighting against it.

Not in every single situation, but in many situations, our lesson is to learn to let go and allow things to flow the way they are meant to. It can be one of the toughest lessons to go through, but it is also one of the most important things we can learn.

If we are able to keep at the forefront of our mind that everything really does happen for a reason and really trust in that truism, it will make letting go a lot easier.

And, the most important thing to realize is a piece of wisdom I came across the other day…

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Marilyn Monroe

Live Today Better than Yesterday.

30 Tips For A Great Relationship

Have you ever had a great relationship? If you have, then you most likely remember how great and exciting it was in the early stages of your relationship.

Many people often refer to the first several months of a relationship as the “honeymoon” stage. That is because early on in a relationship everything is wonderful and things are just clicking. You get butterflies every time you are with the other person, you get excited just at the thought of them, and you just have an amazing time every single time you are together..

But, the reality is that despite how easy and great any relationship is in the beginning, it is always necessary to invest in your relationship and be willing to do things that will allow it to flourish.

However, it is easy to overlook the importance of having a strategy that will allow you to continually give all you can to your relationship and make sure you are doing those things that will allow it to be a great, long lasting and amazing relationship.

Just like we have an approach for pursuing our goals, our careers and the other things we want, we need to make certain we also have an approach for maintaining great relationships in our life.

That means we have to be open and willing to do things that will be beneficial for our relationship and also be willing to invest all we can into our relationships. There are definitely many things you can do, but the most important thing is that you decide you are going to have an approach you keep top of mind. Your approach should include great things you can do daily to sustain and help your relationship flourish.

Here are 30 Tips to Consider to include as a part of your approach:

1.     Prioritize being kind over being right

2.     Every morning, remind yourself of one great thing about your significant other

3.     Be affectionate and loving

4.     Always be on the lookout for great things your significant other does to appreciate

5.     Realize that you have idiosyncrasies too

6.     Start and end every day telling your significant other “I love you”.

7.     Have “Talk Night” for at least a ½ hour every week where you turn off the tv and eliminate any other distractions so you can just focus on having a great conversation with each other

8.    Compliment your significant other every single time you notice something great about them

9.     Have consistent conversations about things other than kids, money, work and issues

10. See your relationship as an opportunity to learn from each other and be willing to change those things about yourself that are working against you

11. Talk about your dreams and desires

12. Be willing to do things your significant other enjoys doing, even if they are not necessarily your favorite things to do

13. Make sure you reserve time for date nights and special outings

14. Eat dinner together as often as possible

15. Talk calmly about any issues or concerns

16. Think about and do one great thing for your significant other every single day …  it can be something big or small

17. Laugh together

18. Always be willing to meet half way and compromise when appropriate

19. Support your significant other’s dreams and desires

20. Send texts and friendly messages throughout the day that show you are thinking about them

21. Be a great apologizer when you are wrong

22. Alone time is good, but make sure you are also spending as much time as you can together

23. Come home with little surprise gifts from time to time

24. Be open and over communicate

25. Talk to each other at least once during the day, no matter how busy you are

26. Be willing to see things from your significant other’s perspective

27. Be gentle, kind and pleasant

28. Always assume the best of your significant other until they give you a good reason to believe otherwise

29. Be an amazing listener

30. Love and Learn