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One Very Important Thing You Want to Do Over and Over Again

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

I heard this great joke the other day that really had me laughing. There was a minister speaking to his congregation about the importance of forgiveness.

He explained that we all should forgive our enemies.

A little old lady raised her hand and asked, “But, what if you don’t have any enemies?” Of course, the minister was impressed and said to the congregation, “Isn’t it great? This woman has no enemies.”

He then called the old lady to the front of the church so everyone could learn from her.

He asked her, “Please tell us all how it is that you have reached the point where you have no enemies.”

And, the little old lady said … “I outlived every single one of the wenches”.

Isn’t that hilarious? Of course that is not really forgiveness and it’s definitely not clearing your anger and prioritizing your peace of mind over what someone has done to you. [Read more…]

What You Really Need to Know to Deal with Difficult People

When you do a google search on “dealing with difficult people”, there are literally over 7.5 million results.

Why is this topic so popular?

Because the reality is there are just a lot of difficult people in the world.

No matter which way you turn, you are bound to find one.

  • The terrible customer service rep that thinks kindness is not a part of her job description
  • The waiter that gives you awful service along with an awful attitude
  • The irrational co-worker that insists on over using CAPS lock and !!! in e-mails
  • The “hater” who tells you they doubt you will succeed
  • The crazy driver that seems to get joy out of cutting you off
  • The family member that believes her role is to offer unsolicited advice and continual criticism

The list goes on and on and the reality is that at some point you are going to have a run-in with a difficult person. I know I have personally had my fair share and they are never any fun.

[Read more…]

Break Free From Having Anymore Blah or Terrible Conversations

There are not many things worse than being trapped in an uncomfortable or blah conversation where your primary objective is to look for your quickest and safest escape route. Well, you never have to search for a way out again, because I have a solution for you.

It all starts with the beginning of conversations.

How do you start off conversations? Do you sound happy when you answer your phone or do people feel you are glad to see them when they enter a room or walk into your office?

Now, this is something a lot of people do not really choose to focus on. They are polite and have good phone etiquette, but focusing on how they start off conversations and how people feel seems like yet another thing to worry about. And, that’s understandable because we all really do have so many other things going on. In fact, that definitely used to be my perspective, until I discovered this technique and saw how it improved all of my conversations tenfold, even the difficult ones.

It makes an enormous difference if you are able to positively influence how people feel when a conversation or interaction begins. You get the positive energy flowing and people respond much better.

There is nothing worse than calling someone and having them answer the phone with very little enthusiasm or walking into a room and not feeling like the people in the room care or want you there. People are very good at noticing and can feel your lack of enthusiasm or if you are annoyed to be speaking to them.

You really can improve every single one of your conversations simply by focusing on how you begin them.

Let’s be honest, there are probably going to be those instances that you do have to speak to certain people you would rather not to (the annoying telemarketer, the challenging colleague or other people you would prefer to avoid), and if you can keep the energy level high and positive, you really can improve your interactions and conversations with those people too.

Regardless of who you are speaking to, you should sound pleased when you answer the phone. When your friends or other people call, they should be able to hear it in your voice that you are in a good mood and not bothered by their phone call. When a colleague walks into your office or a conference room, they should feel that you are glad they walked into the room.

So, as you move through your day today, be aware of how you are starting off conversations and interactions and make sure you are beginning them in a great way. You will be amazed at how doing this small thing will improve all of your interactions and how much other people will immediately warm up to you. You also will automatically earn the reputation of being a kind and pleasant person because people will compare you to so many other people that just don’t know how to have good conversations and interactions.

What You Should Do Differently Today (if you aren’t already):

1. When you answer the phone, make sure you sound upbeat and happy (there is no need to overdo it and sound too “Pollyanna”, but people should be able to hear some good positive energy in your voice).

2. Smile, make eye contact, and say hello when someone walks into a room.

3. If you can tell from your caller ID who is calling, start the conversation off with a friendly personal greeting and say the person’s name. “Hey Ali! What’s going on? I am so glad you called.”

4. Smile when you answer the phone. It will automatically improve your tone and how you sound.

Live Today Better Than You Did Yesterday …

10 Great Ways To Calm Down When Someone or Something Has Annoyed You

Do you have a great way to calm down when someone has pushed your buttons? What is your tolerance level?

How do you handle it when people mislead you or do something that you feel takes advantage of your kindness and honesty?

I am a pretty patient and tolerant person. I always try to give every single person the benefit of the doubt and see everyone in the best light possible.

But let’s be honest, there just may be those times when you run into someone who has their own personal issues they need to sort through and they do things that can really be upsetting or push your buttons.

You know the best thing you can do is find a way to calm down and return to your great frame of mind.

You can run into people that are dishonest, deceitful or just plain rude. And, it can be really irritating and a true test of your patience and tolerance, even if you are a very calm and collected person.

You may be someone that is consistently doing everything possible to stay centered and have a peaceful frame of mind. You meditate regularly, do yoga, jog or some other relaxation practice consistently. You have great relationships and really enjoy spending time with other people. For the most part, you always have the best mindset and get along well with everyone you come into contact with.

But, then you encounter someone who is unscrupulous, inappropriate or inconsiderate and it is necessary to find a way to calm down. Do you fall into the trap? Do you allow them to get you all worked up?

Do you let them interfere with your positive mindset?

Well, the honest answer may sometimes be yes. And, that is okay. It happens. We are human and may not be completely immune to the egos and issues that may come our way from other people.

Many of us admittedly are still strengthening our tolerance and patience skills.

However, the key is that we have to stay committed to having a great frame of mind as often as we can and that means we find a way to calm down and regain our positive mindset anytime we notice a disturbance.

We don’t beat ourselves up for being upset or bothered. We simply recognize when our peace of mind has been disturbed and focus all of our attention and effort on returning to our great frame of mind.

We can’t control how other people behave, but we can control how we react and if we allow what other people do to affect us in a negative way.

Here are 10 things you can do as soon as you recognize someone has interfered with your positive mindset. Always remember that your #1 goal is to do whatever works for you to regain your peace of mind. Any negative feelings or emotions that surface will pass like a wave, as long as you allow them to move through your system and commit to restoring your peace of mind.

1. Take 10 Deep breaths … (maybe 20 or 30 depending on what has happened and how worked up you are)

2. Give yourself credit and think about how great it is of you to take the high road. Realize you are strengthening a good trait in yourself. (As hard as it may be to believe, sometimes our best patience and tolerance trainers are those people that really do push our buttons.)

3. Take a walk and focus on something that makes you happy.

4. Call a friend and talk about something that makes you smile or laugh. Whatever you do, do not complain or talk about what has upset you (remember the idea is to get you back into the right frame of mind, not all worked up again).

5. Meditate, do yoga, read, take a jog or do some sort of exercise. Do anything that helps to take your mind off of the disturbance and relax your mind.

6. Realize that whoever upset you is not your issue and you don’t have to bother yourself with teaching them anything. No revenge or teaching them a lesson is necessary. The universe has its own way of teaching people the lessons they need.

7. Remind yourself that you are doing it for yourself. You will be the one that benefits the most from clearing your mind. Prioritize your peace of mind over everything. Realize that your peace of mind is the most important thing and refuse to allow anyone to negatively encumber it for too long.

8. Go have some fun and laugh.

9. Listen to your favorite song, sing, dance and get your positive energy flowing again.

10. Think about the things in your life that you love and appreciate. It is amazing how true gratitude and appreciation will overshadow any negative feelings you may have.

Live Today Better than Yesterday.